July 26, 2013 at 3:44 am #39227Sky GarciaParticipant
I’m observing my life these days and I feel like getting stuck with what I am doing. When I see life of friends, family members and other people around me, I feel bad for myself. I am not jealous, I feel happy for what they are but I feel bad for my own actions and choices for where I am. I find it quite hard to find myself out of it. I know I should not compare myself with others. I guess it is the feeling of regret that makes me think – I have a lot of potential and I didn’t made it big in career side and now I am being less social. I feel like my self esteem is down, which is not good for workplace and in general.
What I am doing for this? I did made few changes in life by being more social these days to distract the negative thoughts that comes to my mind. I am doing many changes career wise which changes things for me. I am trying my best but sometimes when I am working on things that makes positive changes, I get distraction from other negative things which I can’t ignore. It is really making me desperate for success and I feel like stuck. Lots of complicated thoughts, feels aimless like “what I want from life”. I wonder if being desperate for success leads to being stuck and unhappiness and also in turn gets on self esteem?July 26, 2013 at 3:35 pm #39251HelenParticipant
Dear Sky Garcia (What a pretty name! :))
I totally understand what you are saying, and where you are coming from. But it is exactly those thoughts, comparing yourself to others, that get you stuck.
The real question is: What do YOU want? What is going to make YOU happy?
No one else’s life or choice of how they live will make you happy. Only the life and the people in it, the career, the meaning that you need in your life, will make you happy. For some people, there will always be a sort of cloud hanging above you “Am I really doing the right thing? Is this going to make me happy?” But in a way, it’s good to ask yourself that. That means you are thriving for more. You want meaning, you want true happiness and you want to live your life to the fullest.
Look deeply inside yourself and your heart will tell you what you want and need. Feeling sorry for yourself – sorry I have to be harsh – will never help. It brings you down and gets you stuck. Rather try and think “Ok, what can I do to change this situation that I don’t like?” Instead of feeling sorry for yourself.
You are worth living a beautiful life! So do it :=
HelenJuly 26, 2013 at 3:38 pm #39252Buddhist WifeParticipant
I was once in your position.
I had gone to visit a friend who seemed to have it all. A great career, great friends and an interesting future.
By comparison I felt stifled, boring and directionless.
Like you I didn’t enjoy the feeling. As you have done, I decided to make a few changes in my life. I became more social and focused on finding a husband.
Years down the line my friend and I are now in different positions. My efforts have borne fruit. Sadly my friend, through no fault of their own, is in a very difficult and unhappy position and does not enjoy the advantages I have. That’s just the random cruelty of life really.
Personally I think you are dealing with your feelings really well. You have recognised that things are perhaps not quiet as you want them and you are making changes to rectify that.
I think perhaps all you need is a bit of patience and perspective. At the moment, in your own opinion, you are in a bit of a rut. Life will throw you and your friends all sorts of surprises and challenges and it’s possible you will be the one who is feeling content in years to come.
Don’t let negativity undermine you and be gentle and compassionate towards yourself.July 29, 2013 at 3:39 am #39358Sky GarciaParticipant
Thanks helen and buddhist wife. I am trying to change things and keeping myself in present. That way I am sure things will be changed for better. I have to work on my emotions of desperate thoughts and distractions.
I feel god after reading your replies. Again thanks a lot
🙂July 31, 2013 at 9:56 am #39501GinnyParticipant
I’ve in the same situation, sharing the same thoughts lately. Thanks for the positive sharing. Maybe now it’s the alarming moment for us to make change and get out of the rut. ‘If you want to be different, try to do something different now’ , a quote that we should live with. Be patient, and wait for the fruits. Buddhist wife, I’m inspired by your story.