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John

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  • in reply to: Coming to terms with being single forever #189801
    John
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    I know this is an old post, but I am a man in my mid 30s (will be 34 later this year), and am struggling with this. I was in a 5.5 year relationship that ended 5 years ago because the woman I loved left me. I am as over it as I’ll ever be and I’ve dated plenty of women since, but have been mostly single for the past 5 years. The first two years I didn’t care because I was still young back then and needed time to get over things…year three was meh…the last two years it’s been hard for me because I’m really lonely as everyone I know is already married and on their second kid. I’ve never really been one to do things alone, but I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do. Online dating is such torture…I get dates from it, but have had basically ever scenario take place except for success. I know I don’t have a “clock” like women do, but men run out of time in different ways…I don’t want to be the creepy old guy alone at the bar with no family. Sometimes I feel as though I have no purpose, no reason to live. Like, I have nothing to look forward to, no one to hang out with. I know everyone is going to come back at me with “you have to love yourself/be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else,” but some people are better at loving others than loving themselves, and I’m one of those people. I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to give up the search and just distract myself somehow. But I’m always so painfully aware of how alone I am, and it sucks…

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