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jag james

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  • May 8, 2014 at 12:54 am #55990
    jag james
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    could it be said that it was your anxiety and non-acceptance of the situation that caused the split? and now you are realising what you have given up? The reason you may only be remembering the good things could show you how ‘un-real’ anxiety actually is in the reality of it all.

    you have time to yourself now and can work on re-setting yourself and looking at things from a far. Once settled can you try again and accept the situation? which will probably release some anxiety. Is being with him in a less than perfect way better than not being with him at all? Is giving it another 6 months to be in this situation again the worst thing that could happen?

    Did the relationship not match your perception’s of what made you feel secure and therefore you were reacting on the back of your vulnerabilities?

    You sound like you may have acted in a way that I am currently battling with, The relationship not having all that I perceive to need to make me feel secure! and I today I have decided it is living with my vulnerability that is the issue here. Accepting that and deciding to go with it and bear all actually feels liberating. Just some ‘food for thought’ here.

    #Peace

    April 1, 2014 at 7:35 am #53934
    jag james
    Participant

    I am very much a novice to all this having only picked up meditation very recently however I think I can see that it maybe due to a root cause of vulnerability or a dislike of not having control. I say this because you seemed fine until she did something unexpected that then exposed you to vulnerability / lack of control.

    I was once in a very similar position and when I learnt that it was not this person, her actions or the current situation that made me feel hurt and angry but a deeper root cause such as my own discomfort with being vulnerable it allowed me to learn more about myself and become empowered by my pain. The girl and the new guy almost dissolved instantly and I spent time learning and being nicer to my inner self.

    It may or may not make things easier for you, I hope it does, but it is definitely a welcome distraction when you stop blame outside forces and look deeper into yourself to find out what is really going on. Take yourself away to somewhere nice (beach / forest / hill etc) get some meditation headfones on and decide to learn about yourself more via the situation. Hopefully you will feel as refreshed as I did 🙂

    #peace

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