A hearty congratulations for taking an action. God bless you 🙂
J

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooray Steve. Enjoy 🙂

J

Thanks everyone.

Hi Big Blue

I had to think for a wee bit so that I could articulate my thoughts here. I am not a fine writer like others 🙂

Grew up with heaps of universal values like most of us do in a happy family and surroundings. All good up to a stage in life, whereby I realised that if I wasn’t too careful about their use in my life, I was actually strangling my relationships with an invisible rope knowingly or unknowingly.

Who has created all these values or traditions or cultures ? Humans, right ? Human change so do values change (in my opinion) depending on their phase of life. Some change with life experiences and others change with wisdom.

At the core of each being (perhaps at a soul level), there are values, which define and connect each of us – unconditional love, purity, peace, acceptance, forgiveness. Each religion defines these values in their own way. We often see these qualities in a very young child and they get eroded bit by bit with environmental conditioning as we age.

Can you be attracted to an individual with a different set of values ? For me the answer is: Absolutely as at the core level, the values remain the same. Environmental conditioning may have changed our values on the superficial level but when we hit crisis, we see the core values immerge quite distinctively.

I have evolved a lot myself in a short span of time and so have my relationships. Superficial values do not define them anymore as I am happy to accept the other person for who they are. If they are not willing to accept the same, that is ok by me and I move on. If they are, we have a decent time. I don’t hang on to them tightly anymore or analyse them to the 10th degree as I used to. Everyone evolves in this world and with that comes an acceptance for everyone and everything (of course, with the right guidance).

I don’t have a vision of where I want to be or with who and I am not even sure if me and my husband share the same vision as we are 2 different people and we even differ at our basic needs (need for kids vs nil). What we do share is quality time together with an open communication – this has been the rule from day 1 even when we started dating more than a decade ago. He helps me grow and I do the same. We leave the ego out of our marriage most of the time. Did I attract a similar kind innately ? Perhaps, I did. I do believe strongly now that all our relationships and people who come into our lives have been pre-determined (even before we took birth). And the more I understand this, the less values or traditions or cultures mean to me.

My bigger question (if you believe in this aspect of our existence): Why have I chosen to have these particular people come into my lives and not the other 6 billion or so on this planet ? There has to be some big reason for that. And for me, I have found that it is to do with giving love. They have come into my life to receive love without any expectations for in return. And this is what I am living by currently. When someone tries to make my existence difficult, I give them even more love 🙂 as I feel that we have some unfinished business from somewhere long back LOL. And there are only 2 outcomes of this issue: they either love me back or disappear out of my life for good. Both works beautifully well.

Does this make sense ?

Jasmine

Wow and Wow Aiyana and The Ruminant

So happy to see you back, The Ruminant. You shouldn’t disappear every few days as we start missing your insights. Hey, you are sounding more and more like Osho. Do you listen to him ? Just curious.

Hey Inky, couldn’t agree more with The Ruminant. In my experience, it is not the food in moderation, which makes us have yo yo issues with weight. It is what we think about weight issues and the stress we create by feeling guilty for indulging in food. No further comment to add to the acceptance question.

You have mentioned Bhagawad Gita before in your posts so I am assuming that you have read it. It says do all actions without expecting any outcome and then your action will not yield any sorrows or issues. So far so good in my world with that philosophy :). I love food and eating and I try and burn it off as well with some exercise + meditation.

On a lighter and more practical note: Hey, have you thought of trialling Chinese acupuncture ? It is great at balancing out the hormones and stress associated with guilty pleasures.

And I would also like to recommend the following audiobook to all the ladies on this post if you have not already checked it out:

– The empowering women gift collection by Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Dr Christiane Northrup and Caroline Myss

It is approx. 5 hours of pure bliss and women power to the max. I think you guys will enjoy it.

Have fun ladies.

J

Thanks Inky and Matt. Heart warming responses as usual 🙂

Hey Trevor,

I have to agree with Big Blue that you use pretty big words. Hey, what’s with the medicalisation of your condition? You are either a psychiatrist or psychologist trained in the use of these terms or you have been seeing these people for too long ? Which one is it ? Either is not good for your mojo, lol.

Hey, life is as beautiful as we make it out to be and as sad as we make it out to be. As your consciousness grows, you will realise that it is all in the head. If you tell yourself, the psych meds have created the neuronal changes or will take few months to wash out of the system, your brain will take that as gospel and it will create that reality.

Create a positive and life embracing reality for yourself. Imagine yourself hanging out with the a loving and beautiful lady with a vibrant smile, who is just smitten by Trevor. Now, wont that be fun ? Grieve over the past relationship and let it go. The choice to let it go is in your hands, yeah 🙂 A beautiful future awaits Trevor.

Off to a yummy breakfast with an awesome company.

Jasmine

Now that is a WOW post Big Blue. Awesome for trevor 🙂 Thanks.

No worries Trevor. It is sometimes normal to be confused when you are trying to figure out all the underlying root causes. Don’t be too hard on yourself, yeah.

I think Big Blue @talkingwithtinybuddhah may be able to help you start on a looking-after-yourself journey with his experience. He has done a useful post earlier on how to turn life around and be yourself. When you are able to be you, you will surely get your mojo back 🙂

Thanks Mike and Inky. What a beautiful advice 🙂

Hi Jo

Thanks for your very negative post. I would like to share my perspective here to remind you as to how you got here in the hope that you will take an ACTION to flip things around. There are no failures in life but how we use the stumbling blocks to take us to higher heights is the difference between you and a successful / happy 51 year old woman.

1. No one else has brought you to where you are today except for YOU. You alone are responsible for the state you are in today and you alone will be responsible for the state you will be in the near future. Sounds scary but lady, it is the ultimate truth. The sooner you realise the truth, easier it will be to move forward and make some small but positive changes.

2. What is with the following terms – Loser, overweight to the boot, no hope, no future, a dead end job, shitty apartment, hate cats – how can you invite any ray of hope or love into your life with such vocabulary ? If you do not show respect for yourself and for what comes out of your mouth / hands, who else will Jo ?

3. The point of living in this life is to understand yourself and what makes JO tick. Everyone has challenges in their life and many do “fail” despite all efforts but but but but…..most still do not give up. They stop, think, reassess their situation and ask for help and take a new route to where they need to go. Have you done the first 3 steps for each stumbling block?

4. The first and foremost trick to turning things around for yourself is to get professional help for weight and mental health issues. Implement small steps to eat healthy, exercise and be nice to yourself and people / animals around you. World treats you very similar to how you treat yourself – READ THIS AGAIN as this needs to make sense to your mind.

5. The pain everywhere in the body and external world is a HUGE signal of how badly you are treating yourself. Your soul is crying out for help. Who will help JO if you do not ? These issues are not going to just disappear until you take actions in the right direction. And self harm is not a way out as there are no guarantees that it will end your suffering in this life. I suggest that you work on developing some self love, respect for Jo. Practice positive self affirmations (Louise Hay, Susan Jeffers, Cheryl Davidson – google them) and perhaps read some positive articles. Inky’s 6th point is very valid. Practicing meditation is another useful tool for bringing more positivity in life.

I will offer prayers for you and hope you will pay particular attention to your thoughts – if it is not a positive or an uplifting one, then you know the cause of your sufferings and there is work that needs to be undertaken.

LOVE LOVE LOVE is what makes the world go around and it all starts with YOU. Can you be more loving towards JO, pls ?

Jasmine