Thanks Matt. Couldnt agree more !

Shellie

Let your ex-BFs go. They are not hanging on to you but you are. It may sound bizarre to your mind but hey, ask your heart and you will find the same answer. Matt explains it more compassionately in his post above as to why we do such things. Things flourish where our attention goes. Stop giving this issue your attention and they will wither away.

May you find the courage to move on to better things. You are worth it.

J

You are still a kid Yuvi. Enjoy life and don’t worry about what others are saying or doing. You just focus on your life, pls.

Forgiveness is a choice. If you are able to forgive people, you become free. If you hold on to resentment, you become a prisoner of your own emotions and logical mind. Life becomes a pain and full of miseries. If you can do one thing for yourself, start with a gratitude exercise each morning. Think of things, which are good in life and offer your gratitude. When we adopt an attitude of gratitude, everything becomes more beautiful with time.

But, hey no stress. Enjoy your youth. These days won’t come back.

J

Thanks Luna @lunamimi. Just beautiful. You will inspire so many with your post 🙂

Jasmine

Hi Matt J. Stokes

Hope you will get some decent sleep before you read this post. When our mind or body doesn’t get optimal rest, we can’t think clearly or make sense of any advice or help that may be offered to us.

I will try to provide my perspective here and I hope you will take it in a positive light. First of all, congratulations for stepping forward and seeking help. You have already started on your divine journey but now you need proper guidance and support to make it through.

– bad choices equals bad consequences. There is no running away from this simple equation. It doesn’t matter what made you choose bad choices over good but you have done some actions and as you sow as you will reap. We all have to do it in this world in some form or other. When we sow a seed of tomato, we don’t expect to find a mango tree in a few months in its place. A tomato seed will grow into a tomato plant.

– as you accept above, you will find it easier to forgive yourself for the actions you have carried. Once, you have forgiven yourself, you will be able to let go of the guilt and find the solace that your heart seeks. That’s when your true inner journey will begin. Have patience.

– there are 2 types of wealth in this world – financial (cash) and blessings. When we increase our financial wealth, there is no guarantee that our happiness or mental peace index will increase. However, when we accumulate blessings, we become wealthy in a true sense as our happiness and peace index reaches infinite. Not many people understand this as we are too caught up in the materialism and have lost our sense of purpose in the world. To understand this principle, you need a spiritual teacher who can guide you on your journey and take you under their wings.

– A person is never bad or good in a spiritual sense. It is someone’s action which is classified as bad or good. It is easy to change an action as we all have a choice to choose everything, which relates to us. We can’t change other peoples action or behaviour but we can control ours. When you are past your guilt, you will be able to work on your actions and be more mindful of choosing actions, which bring peace and happiness. Don’t choose actions that bring someone’s curse or bad vibes into your life. We often know, which those actions are but still continue to carry them out due to ignorance. Wake up !!

– there is a simple way of increasing your positivity or peace index. Make a food donation to needy and children. They provide so much heart felt blessings and it will help to counteract some of your negativity. Mind you, the money used for food donation has to be hard earned with a pure intention. You can’t ask someone to buy the food for you and donate. You need to be part of it and be there serving those needy people. It needs to come from your heart. Yes, initially, you will have a selfish motive as you want to raise your positivity index but over time, this will become a selfless act and bring a lot of happiness in your life.

– no one can erase your bad actions but with time, meditation, selfless service and purity of intention, you will be able to transform your current existence into a more divine presence. Don’t give up. I accept you for who you are and you did what you did as it seemed right to you then. Now you want to change things for the better and may you find all the help you need to make it through.

Loads of positive energy coming your way. I am sure your higher self will get all the help you need as you take more positive steps forward. You still need medical attention so don’t give up on that.

Jasmine

Hi Cameron @cameron

Thanks for your question.

Higher self can mean lots of different things such as inner being, inner self, inner consciousness, holy spirit, egoless self etc. Religions, spirituality and metaphysics all provide their own definitions and you can google those different meanings. I will share what it means to me.

I believe that everyone can operate from 2 different selfs – higher and lower. Lower self keeps us grounded in doubt, fear, guilt, non-acceptance and everything, which is finite or limiting. Higher self makes us believe that we are infinite, awesome, beautiful, powerful, pure, loving, accepting, compassionate, understanding, helpful, harmonious, balanced etc. For example, when we are faced with a circumstance where we have to lend a hand to someone who is grieving, we work from our higher self. We are filled with compassion, love and empathy. Similarly, when we feel that someone has betrayed us or has been disloyal to us, we often use our lower self to deal with that situation. We get filled with resentment, doubt and disharmony. If we used our higher self to deal with even negative situations in our lives, we will not loose our harmony or mental peace. Our higher self knows and believes that we are perfect as we are and so is the next person and everyone else in this world. Our higher self makes us realise that we are all connected and longing for the same things – love, acceptance and forgiveness. When we act from our higher self, we feel good and light. Have you ever wondered that when you are really down or sad, who comforts you and brings you out of your sadness at some point – your higher self. If it didnt, we would all have committed suicide by now and this world would be a lonely place. Have you wondered what that voice is that keeps asking – why cant people just let me be me and love me for who I am ? Why do I have to pretend to be someone else ? Thats your higher self. People who learn to use their higher self have better time in this world than those who use their lower self.

I could go on and on ….does this answer your question ?

Jasmine

Hi Emotional Wreck

I am sorry for the way you feel. I am not sure if my perspective on this issue will help you at this stage but I will make an attempt.

First of all, you are not alone, who has a dysfunctional family. There are many children out there who are going through similar problems as yourself, which is unfortunate but a real fact of life. So instead of feeling like a victim, we need to become in control of the situation, ie, change the mentality of “why me, what that” to “how can I make things better for myself”. Some suggestions below:

1. Accept that you have a dysfunctional family and may continue to have one for as long as you live. You can’t control your parents behaviour. However, you can control yours. By wanting to have a loving family, you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself as the situation is out of your control.

2. Pls do whatever it takes but move out of the house. When we are surrounded by negativity or negative energy, it is hard to stay positive or bring about a lasting positive change in self. You wont be able to become compassionate in that house with that sort of negativity around even if you do meditation 24 hours a day. Energy flows from high to low. When people are vibrating at predominantly negative energy, their energy engulfs everything on the way unless you stand tall against that negativity. For that, you need to be more positive than what you are currently.

3. Fungal infections are opportunistic infections and it highlights that you are killing your soul every minute. You are doing things against your will. Stop it. You are way more worth than how you are treating yourself.

4. Once you have raised your positivity and compassion index to such a high level that your parents negativity does not cause any effect on you, you will be able to love them from your higher self. They will then definitely change for the better as they will be able to feel your positivity and unconditional love.

5. I dont have an answer as to why your parents are the way they are but what I can tell is one thing from my experience: unconditional love can lead to miracles. Unconditional love comes about only when we are able to accept for who we are, forgive our own self for the pain that we have caused knowingly or unknowingly. When we accept, love and forgive self, only then can we love anyone else. Do you know what I mean ? Think over these lines for a few mins.

6. I can recommend a book that may assist you in getting your life back to where it should be. Feel the fear and do it anyway by Susan Jeffers. Start with the last 2 chapters and if they resonate with you, you can read the first 10 chapters for tools to use to begin your journey of self care and nurture.

7. Pls forgive your parents for all the pain, hurt and judgments. They do not know any better otherwise they wouldn’t be doing this to you. BUT, you do know better as you wouldn’t have asked for help otherwise.

8. Pls change your alias from emotional wreck to emotionally sound or something more positive. Learn to vibrate at higher frequencies of positivity.

Sending you loads of positive energy and you will be in my prayers tonight.

Jasmine

Hey hey Angela D

Thanks for the love and positive energy. I feel it :)))))))

Your comment about, “how can he love me when his actions speak otherwise” may not truly reflect how things may be. May be he is the chosen one but you are not able to see that as you are waiting for that someone special from God. Sometimes, when we are so preoccupied with protecting ourselves from hurt and all, we become paranoid and rationalise things until we go crazy. Listen to your body – butterflies in the stomach can mean a good thing such as he puts you on cloud nine. His straightforwardness can mean good things as well – he is not trying to be someone else.

Be open with him. Give him a chance but most importantly, give yourself a chance to experience what your body is already experiencing. Do not make your love conditional. If you love him, show him that fully and be yourself. Do not be scared of making wrong decisions or letting your guard down. You never know something beautiful may come out of this in the end. If things do not work out, atleast you can be proud of yourself that you were YOU and you loved unconditionally and you didnt judge someone on their actions. When the thoughts, feelings, actions are aligned, only good things happen 🙂 God knows who that special someone is for you but to recognise that someone special when he enters your life is upto you and you alone. God doesnt come and whisper in your ears that hey, he is here. And my experience tells me that anyone can become that special someone when we love from our higher self without expectations. I didnt know what love was until I realised how my hubs treated me so differently from the rest. He just lets me be ME in all circumstances and never questions any of my actions but I know he is there for me when I need him. Now, dont we all want that from our loved ones ? Total acceptance. I didnt recognise him when he came along as I was too busy protecting myself from letting my guard down but thanks to my higher self and someones good advice, I did eventually let my guard down and am so thankful for that today.

Be proud of yourself. You are worth it.

Jasmine

Thanks Matt @amatt. Just beautiful 🙂

HI Paul

Everything Matt has written is spot on.

However, from the last post of yours, it seems that you are still feeling quite guilty and looking for her forgiveness. Paul, you did what you did at that time as it felt right to you then. However, with passage of time, you realised that you have lost a good mate and are upset with yourself for doing such an action. Hey, why cry over a split milk ? Can you do something to change things around ? I think you can.

1. Pls forgive yourself. You were the one who did this. She may have instigated it in the first place but it was your action eventually. Once you are able to truly let go of your guilt, you will feel so much better. If you don’t, the guilt will help create bad hormones in your body and lead to all sorts of physical, emotional and mental problems at some point of time – do you really want that, mate ?

2. Pls learn to accept yourself as you are. You have needs and desires and one of them made you astray. Whats the big deal ? Atleast you realised your mistake. Some people don’t ever do that and keep creating negative Karmic (action) cycle and then ask, Why me, why that etc.

3. Be kind to yourself, Paul. Show respect for your inner being who was longing for some different type of companionship at that time. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to openly communicate with your wife and let her know how you felt and what you did. I am sure if you did it with the right intention, she will understand (Pls don’t make her feel that she was the cause of this action as she wasn’t despite your differences on finances). This will be a stepping stone for a stronger relationship between you and your wife and hopefully, will keep you away from such actions in the future. We do certain actions when our needs are not met. If we can meet them in our existing relationships with communication, love and acceptance, we wont have to look outside.

4. Don’t expect forgiveness from others. You did an action of asking for forgiveness, which is great. Leave it at that. Other peoples reactions and actions are not under our control. They will forgive, love and accept when they wish to. Some may choose not to but they are only harming themselves with that negativity and not others. Can you read this sentence again, pls.

Why don’t you try out the Metta Meditation that Matt usually suggests to other members by Sharon Salzberg. I think it will bring a lot to peace to your grieving heart. Another way to forgive yourself is to make a meal or buy some groceries and donate it to the needy in your area such as women’s refuge, homeless shelter etc. When you make a food donation, it creates a lot of positivity and will help to bring light in your heart and I can vouch for that.

Loads of positive energy coming your way. I know you will be fine soon enough and life will unfold beautifully from now on.

Jasmine