Forum Replies Created
June 20, 2014 at 4:27 am #59249
Sorry I replied this late. I was so confused at the time I posted this thread, so after reading your responses, I made a decision to focus on myself and not listening to any advice. The only advice I listen to is within myself and it works wonderfully.
Tiny Buddha is a wonderful place but at the same time, so many people have similar problems and I didn’t think I was strong enough to read posts without getting influenced. That’s why I disappeared.
Now I’m stronger than I was so I come back.
Jasmine and Matt. You two are wonderful people who are strong enough to keep helping others on this forum. I hope I can do that in the further too 🙂
With love.June 20, 2014 at 4:12 am #59247
I don’t believe in fortune tellers at all. I think fortune tellers are for people who are extremely confused and not sure about themselves. I said it from my own experience. When I was young, I did like to visit fortune tellers, tarot readers…etc. I even went to a bird reader! None of them said anything accurate about my future. They’re mentalist. They observed me and say what I wanted to hear. I often went against what they said and maybe that was why nothing was accurate. Haha.
Have a faith in yourself Chloé.
With love.May 16, 2014 at 4:08 am #56390
Your post to Nami made me in tears coz I felt love in it. Since I started meditating, I often go teary when I feel love. It’s an amazing experience. In the beginning of the experience, I was like “Oh, damn it. Why do I cry again?” I blamed myself for being weak. Now I know the reason behind it, I’m happy when I feel teary coz I know it’s because I’m feeling love. Thanks for letting me feel love today. With love.May 16, 2014 at 4:01 am #56389
I just want to let you know that your boyfriend’s suggestion that you might have borderline personality disorder is wrong. Having written an essay regarding this disorder a while back, I’m certain that you do not have borderline personality disorder. You’re a kind person like Al said, instead of blaming everything and everyone else, you came to this forum for guidance and trying to love yourself. This is a huge step. I’m already proud of you. Sending you heaps of love.May 10, 2014 at 2:06 am #56080
Hi The Ruminant and Al
Thanks to both of you for the answers. I’m wondering if Zita is doing ok now?April 28, 2014 at 3:19 am #55502
So sorry I was off your topic when asking Al other questions. I’m not as experienced as Jasmine and Al here so I can’t really advise you anything. How I forgave my ex who hurt me is to step into his shoes. I tried to see things from his prospective and came to realise that he was suffering just like me. Meditation helps heaps for me. I remember after he broke up with me, I couldn’t function at all so I went to a meditation group. That was my first ever proper meditation. As I was meditating, I was shocked by the hatred that was trying to raise inside me. I was in a bit of panic during the meditation and trying to supress the feeling coz I didn’t wanna hate him at all. I think the instructor recognised it coz after the meditation, he told us when we experience any negative feelings during meditation, it is prefectly normal and instead of trying to supress them, we should acknowledge them and let them pass. I started meditating daily from then on. Also, I try to practise compassion towards him. The more compassion I have towards him, the more I understand why he made his decision. It’s still hard for me to fully accept his decision but I respect it. He indeed hurt me more than anyone else but the breakup also acts as a catalyst pushing me to find and love myself.
Honestly, hating him doesn’t do me any good. It would only drag me down and make me angry. Altho it’s not easy, only by practising compassion towards him really gets me out of the misery. I dunno if I’m making any sense to you here but I wish you happy.
April 28, 2014 at 2:52 am #55501
- This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by Cameron.
In addition, though difficult to accept, negative experiences are a must. Only by suffering through them and learning their lessons do we grow.
This question has been in my head for a while. According to you and others, negative experiences are a must since they help us grow. What about those lucky people who married to their first love and never experienced heartbreak. I’ve met several people who married to their first love and told me they also think they’re lucky to have not to experience breakups. Do they grow or they’re already whole when they met their first love? Thanks.April 25, 2014 at 12:34 am #55355
People are often attracted to physical beauty but what keeps them in love is your inner beauty. Inner beauty comes from having a beautiful heart, high self esteem and respect. If you accept yourself as you are, is there anyone in this world who can go against that ? NO ONE ! Everything is in our hands and we can make a conscious choice to be the best we can be.
What you wrote here is so beautiful, Jasmine. I’ll keep that in mind.April 24, 2014 at 10:27 pm #55351
I meditated on the video you recommend. My tears just went on and on and on.
Thanks again. I’m also heading into winter here. Keep warm 🙂April 24, 2014 at 9:59 pm #55350
Hi Jasmine, Tom and Al
Thanks so much for your posts. I’ve actually tried online dating sites for nearly a year but somehow online dating doesn’t work for me. So far no one shows interests in me. I’m not an ugly person and I’m being very true about myself online so I don’t really know the reasons. I met my previous boyfriends in person and any boys who like me usually show their interests after we’ve known each other for a while. I guess I’m a lot less attractive online.
I think maybe God is still giving me time to find myself and happiness. Maybe like what Jasmine said, I’m not ready or strong enough to step into another relationship so God decided to put things on hold. Maybe if I rushed myself into a relationship now, it would damage me even more. I really dunno. There’re so many maybes.
Tom, thanks so much for sharing your story. I don’t know about you but I do know that I’ll meet that person eventually. I hope it would be sooner rather than later too but if I have to wait till the timing is right, I’ll wait. It’s hard to see people around you are happily married with kids and that’s why I don’t go to Facebook that often anymore. 🙂
Jasmine. You’re a very wise woman with a warm heart. I think your husband is super lucky to have you in his life. I hope there’ll be more people like you in this world. Your words inspired me a lot. I like the example of waiting for the phone to ring. I’m just gonna put the want aside for a while and go out to meet people which is what I’ve been doing for the last few months.
Al, thanks so much for your post altho it’s a bit difficult for me to understand. 🙂
With love.April 24, 2014 at 4:12 am #55294
Please don’t say sorry Jasmine. It was not your or anyone’s fault that I cried. I recently found out that the more I meditate, the more emotional I become. I cried an awful lot in the past month. Sometimes I cried during meditation. I dunno if it’s normal.
Your posts to me are so warm and I can’t believe that you’re so willing to help a total stranger like me. I feel very lucky to have come across this site and met you.
I’ll do my best to enjoy the present. I think the hardest part now is to let go. When my ex broke up with me in Feb, I also found it to be extremely difficult to let go. I still remember clearly the day I realised I’m ready to let him go, I cried so much. It’s not been an easy journey but meditation does help a lot.
Thanks a lot again Jasmine.
Sending you heaps of love.April 23, 2014 at 6:46 pm #55270
Thanks so much Jasmine for your post. I’ve read it so many times. As I was about to reply, I started to cry uncontrollably. I’m crying now as I’m typing this post. I know the crying comes from the realisation that I have to let go of the want. But I don’t want to let go. It tears me apart to know that I have to give up the idea of having a family, husband and children. I really don’t know if giving up the want would make me happier or less happy but it seems like the only way to go. I know I need to trust and believe that God and universe have my best interests in mind. Like you say, Have faith that all is happening for your highest good and will continue to do so. Trust your higher self to provide the right environment for your want to be fulfilled in the future. I think it might take me a while to truly let go.
I do donate money to World Vision monthly. I try to help others when I’m able.
Thanks again Jasmine.April 17, 2014 at 7:20 am #54955
Jasmine-3. Can you please kindly explain the meaning of higher self? Thank you.April 4, 2014 at 3:55 am #54172
I truly truly feel for you coz my ex did exactly the same to me. I also thought he has this potential and he’s a good person…etc. I even had this moment of confusing of did you and me have the same boyfriend?!
I constantly felt that I’m not good enough when I was with him. I also thought if I worked harder, things would be better.
I just realised that I can’t fix anything or anyone. He has to fix himself and becomes whole. As much as I wanted and tried my best to be there and support him, he still decided that he can’t see the future with me. I guess he can’t see the future with himself either.
I agree with Luna. Be selfish for once and care for yourself. Place yourself in the centre coz you’re the most important possession in your life.
I wish you to be happy.
With love.April 1, 2014 at 3:31 pm #53959
I have the same feelings as you cheerymom. I’ve also been wondering if he just doesn’t care or is hurting. But after reading your posts, a though suddenly came into my mind. Maybe he’s trying to work on himself as well just like you’re working on yourself.
When my ex broke up with me, I decided to cut the contact coz I know very clearly that keeping contact with him would only slow down the process of me working on myself. I’m grateful and hurt at the same time that he doesn’t contact me either coz part of me want him to contact me and see if I’m ok so I know that he cares. Another bigger part of me know if he contacts me, all my hard work of working on myself will just crumble in an instant.
I know I’m not strong enough to see him, contact him or hear from him. I think it’s the buddha’s way to protect me from getting further hurt.
It’s a very difficult journey especially when there’re so many things I have to look after (work, study, eat…etc.) and the only thing I want is for him to say to me, “I’ll be here when you need me.” But the reality is, he can hardly look after himself, how can he look after me?
If I need someone to lean on to, that person has to be a solid rock, not a moving object. Unfortunately, he is still floating and he has no clue what he wants.
I wish you all the best cherrymom. We’re in the same boat and I feel for you.