Hi, first off, I’m very sorry to hear that you’re suffering. I also deal with depression and anxiety and, for me, guilt equals a constant state of fear and panic that I can barely cope with. From reading your post I almost feel like there’s a subconscious reason that you didn’t go out of your way to plan your future with your ex. Is he understanding and sympathetic when you’re feeling down? It doesn’t seem like he tried all that hard to discuss your future together. Does he normally find fault in your actions and then use them? Forgive me if I am making harsh assumptions. I was a little bothered to read that your first breakup was initiated by him, because he couldn’t handle you coming off of antidepressants. I feel like that’s a terrible time to turn your back on someone, and I probably would not trust them any longer. Just take a very careful look at anyone that makes you feel bad about who you are.
I hope you can find inner balance soon!

Cheers,

Jen