In any relationship, states of bliss come and go. We can’t maintain bliss all the time, but we can devise ways to bring it back and rekindle sparks when we need to do so. It is a misconception that romantic soulmates are in a state of blissful love all the time. Life still goes on for those type of soulmates and they still have to navigate the world and live within it. The key is that these couples devise ways to stay intimate and connected even when life intrudes. We can also do things daily to maintain intimate connection even in the absence of sex. Some ways that my partner and I maintain our connection are:
1. Making sure to kiss and touch each other often (ie holding hands, caressing, and cuddling on the couch)
2. He and I have dinner and/or lunch together every day
3. We make our free time together quality time not just quantity of time
4. We constantly give to one another in small ways (ie asking if each needs anything, cooking, cleaning, doing chores the other may not have time to do)

My partner and I are both very driven and it is typical of driven people to hyper focus on one thing at a time. He is very driven in his career as I am in mine and when those careers begin to take off it can be easy for one or both of us to get very focused on career task. But we are very aware of this and we use our daily rituals to make sure we stay connected and feel as though we are giving some attention to our relationship.

We also established early on what our love languages are (you can find out yours here http://www.5lovelanguages.com/) That way we knew right off how to show each we loved each other and we make a concerted effort to do that on a daily basis.

Talk with your partner and see if he would be willing to give any of these things a try. You might be surprised that just a few small changes can bring back that bliss you’ve been missing! Best of luck to you!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 1 month ago by Jodi.

It sounds like you may have jumped into being his friend a bit quickly. Being friends with an ex can be hard, even when you no longer have feelings for them. Perhaps a more loving thing to do for yourself would be to pull back from trying to be his friend and let yourself heal and grieve. (You certainly want to be friendly, if you run into one another, but you don’t have to hang out) Give yourself the gift of allowing time to get over the feelings of loss and possibly even move onto someone who is a better match for you.