Anita,

The reason why I say somewhat toxic is because we have had some good moments like every relationship I suppose but we have had some really really bad times. She embarrassed me and ruined my birthday last year in front of 30 of my closest family and friends. Shes cheated on me before and I lost all trust. I never fully got the trust back. Shes had arguments with family members and I value family highly. Shes a really bad drinker. I always have to told my breath whenever she drinks with the concern that something bad will happen. She has put her hands on me on multiple occasions. These are all just examples.

My ex Fiancee and I were young and unfortunately I screwed it up really bad. I was too  young to know what I had in front of me and I would of done whatever to get it back but it was already too late. I just hope I can feel what I felt with her again.

Mamie, thanks for your feedback. I would like to say that although I feel that there is still a chance in my heart, it may just be false hope. I have put my ego aside many times since our break up to try and talk to her and get back with her. The problem is, is that she doesn’t believe me and doesn’t trust me anymore also. How can I make a believer out of her again? Because that is what it is really going to take. I have changed tremendously in 2 years, I literally went from a boy, to a man that I would even be able to look up to .

Thank you both for the advice, somehow its tough listening to your own intuition. My intuition tells me what will told me, that I should just let her go because it really is over. Part of me also never thought it was and I even though I like your advice Christopher, I just don’t want to seem like im begging for her to hang out with me, I do have some self respect. I feel as though she wouldn’t hang out with me, not because of her own choice but she is also influenced by family and friends.

I forgot to mention something. I poured my heart into a letter for her last year and she really didn’t care. She doesn’t care to know how im doing for what it seems like, so is this clear that she doesn’t care anymore? Or is she still hurt?

Thank you Tara,

The girl that I am currently seeing is the girl that I started talking to immediately going on the break with my ex. Even though she is a great girl and does everything for me, she reminds me a lot of the past situation that happened between her, my ex, and I. A lot of it right now is just wrong place, wrong time. Even though I care about this current girl, she still is the girl that came immediately after my ex, so things will not feel right in the beginning, but eventually something good could come from it, who knows.

I really thank you for reading my post however and for your feedback.