Joe,

I wouldn’t come on heavy in this situation…. Better to just ask if she would like to grab a drink or coffee (short date. 1 hr max) and talk…

I assume she dumped you to begin with. Women usually initiate the break up… In this case you should have no regrets dating other people. You ex didn’t really care you were seeing new girls her ego was just ruffled

The reason I highly recommend against pouring you heart out via email is that it never works. Ive been around the block and never seen it work in my lifetime. It comes across as desperate to women. I recommend coffee so that you can read her body language, tone of voice, and get back to dating slowly… Not full steam ahead which only works in movies. You have to learn that a lot of love is about subtlety and mystery. Not logic or long emails.

But don’t beat yourself up. I’ve done stupider things. Reality is once she dumps you its up to her to repair the relationship. Not you. The fact that you already wrote an email of this type speaks to its ineffecieny.

I’ll be honest here. You have little control over your thoughts and emotions at the moment… You are letting your brain run wild with “what if” stories rather than dwelling in reality… Which is that you are yearning for someone that isnt interested and causing suffering for yourself. Your ego doesn’t want to lose and you are expending untold amounts of energy on this situation. I recommend you develop a mindful meditation practice, this will help you pierce through the fog and see reality. 40 minutes per day.

Does your ideal wife dump you? Act unloving? Not care enough to respond?… Moreover think of healthy male role models. Would tom Brady cry for his ex back or would he get on with his life and focus on getting his needs met? Lastly have compassion on yourself for it not working out. Even the rich and famous get their hearts kicked around. Get out there and ask for 10 new phone numbers this week… When you get 2 or 3 you’ll have a smile on your face and hope for more fun in the future.

Namaste

Will

I am entitled to my opinion just as you are. I have dated and am currently married to a beautiful woman so I feel like I am entitled to share from my perspective.

There is nothing wrong with having healthy male role models…. Perhaps you’d like him to look up to an emasculated and broken man that cries himself to sleep instead? You’re essentially advising him to wallow is his misery rather than finally take charge of his life. That is a loser mentality. Enough time has passed and he needs a little pep talk… Not a box of Kleenexes.

Moreover I advised him to pursue meditation which makes sense considering the theme of this website. A life changing practice. I would not discount this advice or take it lightly. If he was actively meditating he would see things clearly and already let go of these negative emotions.

The reason I advise friends to pursue many different options while dating is the reality that dating is a numbers game… Beautiful women have so many options in the US that you cannot even fathom. Everywhere they go men are bending over backwards to buy them drinks, open doors, etc… There is nothing wrong with asking for 10 phone numbers if it will help you break out of a rut or your shell. Start living.

Ok thanks for clarifying…. In that case, there is no harm in trying. You have go put your ego on the line since you were the dumper. However odds are slim since she already rejected you once… Again it’d avoid the email and just call her & ask her out boldly. If she says no just laugh it off. It’d keep the conversation light and funny. No heavy subjects until you two have the sparks flying.

I agree with your assessment that she might resent you but to be honest women under 25 don’t even know what they like yet… So maybe she’s into a totally different type by now than you. Itd wager it wasn’t a mature love but a naive one.