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October 18, 2019 at 8:44 am in reply to: not sure if it's severe self-esteem issues or if he was giving me red flags? #318543
kaliParticipantyes I would love to. that sounds very similar to how my mind works.
childhood experiences – even when you become aware of them, how do you heal from these experiences? I wish it was easy to rewire your brain
October 17, 2019 at 6:17 am in reply to: not sure if it's severe self-esteem issues or if he was giving me red flags? #318353kaliParticipantthank you both. i’ve looked into therapy. I think it’s hard for me to realize someone may know about me than myself because of how much research i’ve done to figure out what is wrong with me. but there are people trained and they are helping people every day for a reason and will help me take those steps.
as for the negative connotation to the females I felt threatened by, you’re absolutely right. I think I used those words to portray my emotions and anger and betrayal I felt, also while showing my insecurities. I do love people, but when it comes to someone threatening my relationship (like my parents) it is deeply triggering. it’s like I want someone who only sees me as beautiful and doesn’t look the direction of anyone else, but that’s not possible and the relationships that I did feel that stability in were never true love for me.
i’m scared I lost my soulmate. but if I hadn’t met him and actually felt the feelings of love for the first time in my life, these issues that I need help for and have been pushing away would have never came to surface.
kaliParticipantHi all,
Thank you for this and thank you Anita for reminding me of my past post as now I can see the re-occurrence of thoughts that has to do with myself and not the person I am with. I ended up saying some insecurities last night and potentially ending this relationship, sadly. But this can only be motivation to get the help I need.
I feel as if I am not insecure up until I have feelings of love start to form and it’s like I turn into a completely different person, an emotional jealous insecure little girl.
I have thought about therapy, never have gone. It seems scary and expensive but living this life unhappy is not ideal and would be a lot of help. Thank you for the suggestions.
kaliParticipantHi. I’m sure you’ll receive many more helpful replies and comments but I seem to resonate a lot with this post.
Although my situation I seem to go on bouts of sadness and happiness, a roller coaster I’ve been on since I was a child. I have noticed that when I take the time to self-help (read this amazing blog is one of them) but also meditating. I had never done it before and felt weird when I started.. but when I did it every morning before getting out of bed and thought positive affirmations and “law of attraction” mindset on my way to work I always had a better day. When I get in my low moments I always remember how much that helped me and realized when I stopped doing those things my bad moments always started again.
Theres also things I did as a child that made me happy that I lost along the way of getting older. Making art, being in nature, reading, writing, singing even. When I do these little things I start to feel better and more positive about my future. Idk if it’s the childlike mindset that I miss but it helps.
Getting to know yourself and know that having these feelings is normal for some people, it’s just letting those thoughts pass by and not conform into them. I don’t know if this is of any help, but hope you’ll find what you’re looking for. <3
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