I sympathise with you completely. I wish I could adequately help you but it is difficult for me to make judgements upon this friendship when I am not you. I do feel though sometimes that some people come into our lives and then leave. They’re here to teach us lessons while they’re in our life, give us support and then we have to unfortunately learn to let go of them when they leave. But they played an important role in our lives while they were there. I’m not saying this is the case here. It is difficult to say really what the case is here at the moment. By the sounds of it he has not given you any information, and is playing dumb.

I however do not feel you are dumb. You are simply human, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself among with everyone else upon this earth go through such similar emotions. We are all human, and it is always hard letting go of something you have become emotionally invested in. Based on what I’ve heard it sounds like this friend of yours is trying to avoid you for some reason. Now we can’t really make assumptions as to why. I can understand that this has been gnawing at you though. But there could be any number of things. Whatever it is though, he is trying to avoid some form of confrontation about the situation. This could be because what he has to say might hurt your feelings. Or it may even be that the person he is in a relationship with has asked him to avoid contact with you. Who knows. We can’t know. So try not to make assumptions and let them fester within your mind, they will only hurt you in the long run.

Whatever his “obligations” are he feels that they clearly somehow take priority over you. So much so that he leaves you in the dark bewildered. Is that a fair friendship? Friendships just like relationships are all about an equal flow of give and take and are mutually rewarding. A two way street. They should make the two of you feel good, not bad. However, here it seems you are more invested in the friendship then he is. Whatever he is doing, he is doing it immaturely. He needs to tell you the truth. He may be trying to distance himself in order to spare you or himself the hurt of something. He’s probably too scared and doesn’t have it in him to call the friendship off for whatever reason there may be. Whatever the situation you don’t deserve to be strung along like you are being.

Also, if you think he will cut you off if you ask him what’s happening or by telling him how you feel, you should revaluate your friendship with him. You want a friend that is there for you through thick and thin. One who understands. Not one that cuts you off for asking questions or expressing yourself. Ask yourself is this a friendship worth keeping despite all the pain? I can see that there is a little voice speaking to you in that last note you made in the ‘PS’. Try listening to it. But don’t beat yourself up. You need to try and look logically at this, try not to let your emotions interfere.

By the sounds of it you feel the friendship is fading anyway. In my opinion, if you haven’t already asked what’s wrong and told him how you feel then it’s worth a try. Just to give yourself some closure. If the friendship seems to be ending anyway, what’s there to lose? You need to tell him that you want the truth (but don’t be demanding, be mature and professional). You want to maintain your self respect by not appearing needy (not that you are) and upkeep your own pride. I think perhaps it’s worth you trying to tell him how you feel bewildered and confused and you just want the truth now whatever it is – good or bad – you should ask him what the matter is. But after all this time, I think this should be the last time you try. Hopefully you can receive some closure from it. If he brushes you off again after even telling him how you feel you need to realize that this person does not have you in their best interest. Whoever he may have been in the past, people do change and who you thought they were no longer seems to apply. Try not to become enraged or hurt. Don’t make it personal, keep it professional.

If he fails to tell you what the problem is, you need to let go and rid yourself of people such as him who no longer serve you. You need to bring good influences back into your life; friendships that are rewarding. Friendships that make you feel good. I think it’s worth a try asking one last time, but don’t take it any further than that. You want to maintain your self respect and own pride. He’s not putting into the friendship what he should be which shows he’s not as invested as you are. In ways asking him what the problem is after all this time is somewhat pushing it. He seems to be trying to imply something by distancing himself. I don’t know. I’d say either try to let go of the friendship now and realize it’s over, or ask one last time for some form of closure. Regardless, at the end of the day the friendship does not appear healthy for you as it is causing you stress and sadness. I would try to distance myself and let go. There’s a point that comes where you should let go and move on, and realize this is no longer in your control. He is the one choosing what he does. You can’t change that. You’ve done all you can. It’s just the ebb and flow of life. People come and people go. Remember that you shouldn’t ever expend energy on someone who doesn’t care about you anymore or have you in their best interest. They are not worth your worries, pain or tears.

Of course I am making a lot of assumptions here in order to make some sense of this situation. I may very well not be correct; this is based off what I think and what I might do. You are of course entitled to whatever you wish. You need to make your own judgements. I want you to make your choice based on what you feel is right and what is best for you. But I do believe by clinging to something that is not doing you any emotional good is only deteriorating your happiness. I wish you the best of luck with your endeavours. I am here for support if you wish to speak further. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, I wish you the very best friend.