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Depression at worst stage

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • #40401
    Rahul
    Participant

    i”m not that good with writing so people who read this pardon me if my grammar is bad.i have been reading this blog for 4-5 months daily probably almost all the topics where each individual write their own problems,i was wondering at that stage its not only me who has emotional problems and i used to read the replies of people and some of then i really feel they are speaking to me..but today i don’t know i wish somebody can really talk to me and console me by some kind words telling “don’t worry pal everything will be alright”…i was actually trying to figure out what my problem is really and i read all the forum topics written here and i was wondering i have all these problem, probably i guess i wont be alive for much time if this situation continues..Alright people i lost my father when i was just 7 years old i have an younger brother he was too young he don’t even what just happened that time then after that it was my mom who raised us…im 24 years old now i have a well reputed job now i work as a recruiter and has found success in my job..i look after the family now and my younger one is doing his graduation now…as my father passed away mom was busy in raising us with her work i must say she did that quiet well,but one thing she forget to do that she did not show any love to me with him (my younger one) she did tons.he was her favorite every time. Friends yes i should say at school days i had a lot but i never used to go anywhere out or spend time with anyone other than school that made people to stay far from me..trust me when i hear people saying that i have a best friend i really will feel bad that i don’t have one,when people say my parent bought me this we went there i used to wonder and wish if my parent can at least come to me and talk to me.things went like that i fell in love i am a good looking person girls actually likes me from my school days but i never go beyond my limits even if they wanted to..and in that relationship i felt what real love is i was feeling loved for the first time with somebody,she was younger to me for 3 years and i lied many times to her because i never wanted her to stop loving me…one day she came to knew all about my lies and i told her that i was afraid in loosing her,it was hard to convince her,but things from then was never the same as it used to be before..she became angry for each and everything i say,we used to fight often i keeps quiet most of the time and people around me started making fun of me that i’m like her dog going always behind her.. but they didn’t know i get love a little only from her…… i dont know really now what else to write maybe whatever i wrote above might have made any sense at all…probably i lost all my faith i know i have the positive energy in me but u know i expect atleast one person to come and tell me “dont worry pal i got u whatever problem u have come and talk to me i will be with u always no matter whoever hurts u and leaves u” i now have no hope in living anymore

    #40403
    Katie
    Participant

    There’s is always hope, friend. You just have to open your eyes and see it. Right now your eyes are closed, and you currently have a tunnelled vision. You are only looking at your problems and not what wonderful and beautiful things await you. In fact those wonderful and beautiful things are already with you. You. Your life is the greatest gift given to you. It is precious. That life is worth living. Even if things don’t feel good now. They will be. You must have faith. Have hope. Have love. Love yourself and love your life enough not to give up. That is where improvement begins. By loving yourself enough to want to change, make a difference and not give in.

    You need to not look at life with a tunell vision. But in fact open your eyes to the beautiful things around. Life is beautiful. Nature is beautiful. People are beautiful. You are beautiful. It is never too late to change and become a better person and live your life now how you want it to be. Don’t dwell on the things that bring you down. Don’t dwell on the experiences that have made you this way. Don’t bury yourself in self pity. You have to come to realise that you are blessed. For you have been given life. Many people lose that even. You are here because you’re meant to be here. It is not time to give up now friend. The time now is to make a change. Change your perspective for the better. For yourself. Sometimes in life all you have is yourself. You need to learn to love yourself so you are happy with just that.

    Life can be lonely, and sad. But it can be beyond beautiful. For there are always beautiful moments to experience. You can make them now by loving everything you have. By looking around and being appreciative. That’s something you need to not lose sight of EVER. Life is beautiful, and you were given life so you could experience every bit of it. You have so much life ahead of you. A beautiful life, but that’s all dependant upon how you approach this situation now. You have to pick yourself up out of this depression, and keep on moving. I’ve felt depressed before too, feeling that I would never feel love again. But guess what? I did. That was just my state of mind speaking – saying that I wouldn’t. But as soon as you change your perspective to a more positive outlook on life you will see that you will feel better again too.

    Hope is not lost. It never is. There is always hope. You just have to believe. You have to see that you are blessed. You need to look at all the good things in your life, and not let the bad things affect you. You can control how you feel. You can change how you feel. The power lies within you always. You just have to regain your love for life. When something makes you feel bad, counteract it with something that makes you feel good. If there is something that you feel you are lacking, think of something good that you do have and appreciate the fact that you have that. Appreciate what you have. Look at all the good things in your life and ignore the bad. There ARE good things in your life. Such as you, your life, your job… I’m sure there is much more. You just have to open your eyes. You know what you also have? Other people who care about you. Me, and I’m sure countless others, perhaps even some you don’t realize that do. If I didn’t care about your wellbeing I wouldn’t have spent such time typing this response when I have my own work to do.

    But I did because I believe there is always hope. The hope lies within you. You just have to reach it by being positive about yourself and your life. Be appreciative. Care about yourself enough not to give up. You be the one to love yourself. You need to love yourself before others can love you. You can’t rely on others to give you happiness. You have to find it within yourself. Be strong, my friend. Have faith in yourself and in life. It will get better, it always does. So long as you’re strong and you’re willing to make changes in your life. You have to achieve a more positive perspective on life for your own well being and for things to get better. I care, and so should you. I wish you the very best. I am here for you if you wish to speak further. Good luck. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    #40440
    Alexia
    Participant

    I hope it’s okay to speak for someone else. I’m trying to help a friend of mine. Lately, he’s been very depressed. He has told me that school is coming up and he isn’t very happy with that. He’s a very insecure guy.
    Recently, he got his hair cut, but not the way he wanted it; he thinks he looks really bad with that hair cut. I could disagree. I understand it’s hard to comfort someone who is very insecure because I am also insecure about myself.
    Again with school, he’s been home schooled for a while, taking online classes at home, but this year he’s going to public school. He’s going to a public school and he’s going to aviation school. He’s told me that it’s very depressing thinking about it all. I’ve told him not to over think because he’ll start thinking of bad things.
    He’s been okay lately, but just the other day he told me that he was in the shower. In his shower is a cord for the shower head; the ones where you can take down and all. Well, he said that he put his head in the loop of the cord. Almost like hanging himself in the shower. But he was too tall. This frightened me so much. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t know what to do without him. When he gets depressed, he doesn’t rationalize. Which means he could end up self-harming or ending his life.
    Do you think there’s any way I can help? I talk to him all the time about not ending his life or self- harming. That seems to help every time, and I’m glad. I also suffer from depression, but I’ve been trying my hardest to think positive lately.
    Is there anything I can tell him to not get him to be so sad or think negatively? I’ve said all that I could. Everything about hope to family and much more. I just don’t want to wake up one day, and he’s not there anymore.

    #40441
    lucia
    Participant

    Hi Rahul,

    You are definitely not alone in how you feel. There are many of us walking around with some sort of hurt, but a lot of people won’t show it. Just because you don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I agree with the message Katie left you. You’ve definitely taken the first step of acknowledge where you are at in life, and now is the time to take care of yourself. Be your own bestfriend, your number one fan. Just imagine what you would tell your best friend. That is the message you should take with you.

    People can give you all the advice in the world, but it is really up to you, to take what you want from it and make those choices and actions into transforming yourself and your life. It’s not going to change over night. So be patient with yourself. There will be good days and bad days, so be gentle with yourself. In the end, it really doesn’t matter what other people think, only what you think of yourself. Now is the time to let go of the beliefs and feelings that no longer work for you.

    This time is going to be difficult, but with time it will get better. Just be open to the opportunities that arise, it may not take the form you want it, but just recognize and go for it. I promise it will get better. Face this head on, because pushing it back will only make it a lot fiercer the next time it comes around.

    I truly hope you find messages that resonate with you and keep it with you for those hard times. You can do this. 🙂

    Lucia

    #40460
    Buddhist Wife
    Participant

    There are two people in this thread now, so I’m directing my replies by name.

    Alexia:

    It seems that you are a legal minor and your friend is too. This situation is too much for either of you to deal with alone. You need to seek help from a responsible adult, be that a family member or a professional that you trust, such as a teacher. You need to tell someone in your life what is going on so your friend can get the support he needs.

    Rahul:

    I’m sorry for what you have been through.

    I think you might find some benefit in visiting a therapist to discuss your issues, particularly as the events that have triggered your current problems stem from your childhood.

    Before you can have a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship you need to have a reasonably healthy relationship with yourself! So take some time to start looking after yourself. Read books that deal with depression. Take care of your physical health by eating well and exercising. Take the time to treat yourself.

    I wish you all the best.

    #40467
    Rahul
    Participant

    Thank you Buddhist Wife for taking time and to reply to my problem..i tired consulting a psychiatrist but the result was negative..at first when i told the people around me that i am going to consult a psychiatrist people started making fun of me and asked me “you are fine why do u want to go and meet a psychiatrist i just think too much and that is only my problem” but i know that it is not that and i consulted a psychiatrist…the result was negative no matter how much ever i try to be positive at my life at some point i will fall down and the only thing that makes me weak is love…. when i express my feelings to somebody they laughed at me and didn’t care a bit about that that is when i decided never express ur feeling to anybody…and from then i became very silent i spent most of the time alone talking with myself and this resulted things to become even worse, my mom started thinking i am a psycho and they stopped interacting with me….trust me there are only very few people who i talk to actually even if some people really wanted to come and talk to me i don’t know how to talk becoz its been a while since i spoke to people…even writing in this blog i dint know may be for a reason i guess..and i am really thankful to you for talking to me….have a good day ahead.

    #40468
    Rahul
    Participant

    thank you lucia for your kindness and replying back to my post….i will definitely keep ur message and read them at my hard times..i’m really going through a tough time mentally i have written more briefly about it again it is really happy to know that their are actually good caring souls left in the universe just like you people as katie said above why would she leave her work and reply me back for what i wrote why would u care about my problem…im trying to keep up my hope…thanks lucia once again…

    #40469
    Rahul
    Participant

    i guess im am not the right person now to give you a proper guidance to your problem now…but Buddhist Wife down there has replied you for your problem i hope that helps you….

    #40470
    Rahul
    Participant

    thank you katie for your kind words….trust me the only thing that made my day better was your reply to me….yes you are right there is always hope and the hope lies within me i know but…right now its fully dark inside me whenever i go deeper it gets even darker and i stop there…and i always had found happiness when people are around with me when they talk to me when i feel that yes they really do care about me they really love me,,i know its not fair to depend on others always but still sometimes i wish if i had someone with me right now i would feel much better i could at least stand straight on my problems… i look forward to talk to you have a good day ahead thanks once again

    #40536
    Matt
    Participant

    Rahul,

    I’m sorry for your struggles, and hope that some inner warmth arises soon. I like the way you notice that the further inward you look, the darker it feels. That’s actually a great place to be! Consider that when you walk into your home, if it is cold inside you know what to do. You go to the thermostat and turn up the heat.

    In the heart it is the same. There is coldness, so you looked for heat in her. You lied to protect that feeling of warmth. That’s fine! Its not skillful, but perfectly normal.

    So, the task becomes “where is the thermostat of the heart?” How do we accept the cold and find out how to generate warmth? Others have asked that same question, and have found the answer! What we do is metta practice. Consider searching YouTube for “Ajahn Brahm Metta guided meditation” and follow his instructions. It may happen immediately, it may happen after 5 attempts, it may take 10. Get your butt in a chair or on a cushion, and keep at it. The warmth arises, and because it is within you, people laughing or the girl walking ahead of you will be of no consequence. Your heart will heal by itself, for itself.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    #40549
    Mer mer
    Participant

    Rahul, I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I am a widow, I lost my husband (just recently) when my boys were 5 and 3. Thank you for sharing your story. I am struggling to get out of “the swamp” I’m in right now and start living life again. I need to for my boys Any advice anyone can give me I would appreciate. I was causing the opposite problem as Rahul as I was favoring my oldest son over my youngest but I saw the error of my ways. I am just trying to do the best I can now.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Mer mer.
    #40556
    maitri2all
    Participant

    Hi Rahul,

    Understand we all share these disappointments and fears and confusions… you are not alone or weird or strange or unlovable

    Here is a piece of one of the best movies I have watched in my lifetime **Please do watch 🙂 it is a very important movie

    If you like the scene here is the starting url

    You Can Heal Your Life: Louise Hay

    #40580
    Rahul
    Participant

    Thank you for your kind words matt…i did watch the video definitely i will try them and will let u know how the result is 🙂 talk to you soon…..

    #40582
    Rahul
    Participant

    Mer mer i’m really sorry for your loss..i don’t think i’m the perfect person to give u an advice but i will share u my experience with you if that helps you i will be happy as i could help at least one person through my life experience…there were actually times during my old days that i wished my mom could really come and talk to me at least for a 10 mins a day and sat and ate dinner with me…the problem with me is i expect a lot from people ofcourse its my mom so i definitely will expect….i don’t remember when the last time she kissed me i will be turning 25 next month and still im longing for one kiss or just one kind word from her saying how are you…cant blame her too she was very young when dad left us and as a young lady she didn’t leave both of us and raised us both as good souls…she thought that i would understand things fast yes i do understand things but she failed to realize that i needed a mom’s love…..try talking to your son and understand from him what he really needs,analyse yourself that as a mother are you missing something i bet definitely u can be a good parent… 🙂 the moment u realized that u are favoring ur oldest the most u became a good parent i know u can do better and u will be one of the best parent.. i will be here if u would like to talk further….. talk to u soon

    #40583
    Rahul
    Participant

    hello maitri2all thanks for your reply i did watch some part of the video definitely i will watch the whole video and let u know my experience thanks again for your love and care

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)

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