Forum Replies Created
Sorry “been on edge for years” wasn’t the right words. She locks it up, hides it and keeps on going, anytime we need help she’s there. But we can see how hard she is trying to cope with the situation. We never received any help with my sister because no one believed us. They thought she was just a teenager who wanted atention.
My sister became ill when she was 11 (i was 7) she had a virus and other fatal desease I think is called encephalitis. Inflammation that is one of the most painful things to endure. She was screaming from pain sometimes up to 20 hours a day. The inflammation is causing damage on the brain and the longer time goes by without treatment, the more damage is caused. It took us 7 years of fighting before she got the treatment she needed. Treatment she only got because she has scoliosis (the most painful back surgery there is) that is antibiotics. By then the damage was done. Then in 2015 she passed out (due to pain which happens often) and receive a concussion. Another damage to the brain, which took 2 years of treatment before she could leave the house.
This is some of the things that happened. She dosen’t look brain damaged, and she’s increbible smart, but that all comes down to where the inflammation was located.
Thanks for your reply.
Sorry my post was a bit messy, my head was spinning. My mom is the rock in our family.She’s the one who is always there and keeps us going. Not just emotionally but financially. That’s why seeing her break down crying, was so terrifying. If she falls we all fall. Seeing us children struggle is so hard on her she can’t even talk about it. I’ve had a break down from stress 10 years ago and I know how hard it is. I think the best for me to do is to focus on helping out with the daily chores and give her Space. That is also very helpful for me as it gives me some structure.
My sister on the other hand is the one who makes me feel selfish when I need a break to recharge my batteries. Saying things like if you think you have got it bad how do you think I feel. She takes it personally that I need a break from people (not just her) because it makes her feel like I hate her or that she is a burden to me/us. She wants me to take responsibility for her taking it personally. But that is simply not something that I can take responsibility for. It is a burden for me to try and keep myself going, trying to set bounderies (that she never respects) and then trying to make her understand that giving me space isn’t me hating her, but me trying to cope.
as for my dad. He’s never been able to face problems, he thinks everything is fine. Maybe that is his way of coping with this (his mother had a personally disorder but he didn’t want to face it). He is now in charge of dealing with my sister, so to leave me and my mom out of it.
Thanks for your reply. I’ll try and shift focus to where it can be useful rather than wearing myself out. And try to look at the bigger picture. It’s hard but practise makes perfect, sometimes I’m doing it and I’m not even aeare of it.
Thanks for your reply. That is a really good idea, I’ll try to start and be nicer to myself instead instead of constantly banging myself over the head. Thats probably a good way to start.