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PeggyParticipantHi Janine,
My initial thoughts are why on earth are you with this man and why have you tolerated his ugly, demeaning behaviour for so long. I think you should turn things around in your head and instead of asking yourself if you are the woman he wants, ask yourself if this is the man that you want. Seriously. I agree entirely with the comments made by Valora.
Please do not stay in this relationship because you think no-one else will want you. They will! Buy a couple of good books and work on your own self esteem/self worth. Believe in yourself and eventually you will find the secure, loving relationship that you so desire.
Peggy
PeggyParticipantHi Kat,
I get the feeling that you are heavily focussed on the mental/spiritual aspects of your relationship at the expense of any physical connection that you might have enjoyed. I am wondering if you do any physical activities together where you can reconnect to your own and possibly each other’s bodies such as yoga or dancing to redress any imbalance.
Surely, if you love each other as much as you say you do, your husband would not want to think that this aspect of your relationship is making you so unhappy. It’s too easy to blame his lack of interest on your weight gain. There is something else going on. Perhaps he just has a very low sex drive or has underlying anxiety. You most definitely need to talk to him.
Don’t compromise your own values by embarking upon an affair. Take the best care of yourself that you can, build your self esteem and stay true to your inner beliefs.
I hope it works out for you.
Peggy
June 23, 2019 at 11:15 am in reply to: How does one discover their passion (in regards to career)? #300417PeggyParticipantHi Thalia,
Firstly, congratulations on all your achievements so far. This is amazing considering your life during your early years which you seem to have used as a springboard to academic success. Give yourself a big pat on the back – you deserve it. Marching and drumming are both excellent ways of staying grounded as is walking in natural surroundings which is also good for the soul. You clearly have a very artistic temperament and should continue with your passion of creative writing and poetry which you love. If you are enjoying your Ph.D studies, then continue with it. Follow your heart and live the life you truly desire. This to me is the real meaning of success. You put me in mind of Agatha Christie who was a highly accomplished pianist but too shy to perform in public. She became one of the best loved crime novelists in the world!
As for having to do ‘everything’, make a list of the things that really matter to you now and focus on those. You might be surprised at how short this list is. Once you’ve identified your priorities, you’ll be able to put steps in place to work towards your aims and desires. Also, do you differentiate between career and hobbies? Most of the things you have mentioned could fall into both categories. Do you write for fun? Do you play musical instruments for fun? Not everything needs to be a competition i.e. you do not need to be the best at everything – way too much pressure! First and foremost, enjoy yourself. Have fun with what you are doing and things will begin to fall into place.
I am a great believer in affirmations and would suggest you say something like this on a daily basis: “I trust myself and my intuition to guide me on my life’s path”.
Good luck for the future.
Peggy
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine.