Thanks Inky. I appreciate your opinion.

Hi Eliana,

Thanks for the advice. I have graduated from school. I doubt I’ll ever see him in my rest of my life.

Speaking of the code of conduct, I just remembered he once came to me about a student. He had agreed to write a recommendation letter for the student. However, he changed his mind. He ended up writing a nasty letter about the student. He asked me if the committee would pay attention to negative letters. I told him to talk with the student and perhaps say no if he couldn’t recommend the student. The professor told me he didn’t think the student deserved the chance to be considered and that life should teach him a lesson and he might be the one giving him the lesson. He said he had met his family as well and criticized the family and the student. I said that was about the student’s future and I didn’t have the right to comment on this situation. Then he sent that letter to my email (with the student’s name hidden). I read the letter and felt nobody deserved to be commented like that in a recommendation letter. I told him the letter sounded very harsh to me and he should rethink about sending it. He said he had made up his mind. (Why did he come to me if he Had made up his mind???)

Now every time I think of this, I feel very sorry for the student. The professor obviously had anger toward the student. And he directly used his “power” to ruin (in some extent) the student’s future. On the other hand, I don’t think he’s allowed to share that letter with me in the first place, even with the student’s name hidden.

Really thank you @anita! :3

I met up with her yesterday. She said she might have overreacted. Her mom invited more than 20 people from the church. Because she hasn’t been very religious since she discovered her sexual orientation, she felt she had to hide the real her in front of those people. She had already been scared of the party. Knowing that I wouldn’t come made her terrified of the party. But the party itself was fine. People were just chatting and asking her about school and next steps. Nothing that might upset her came up.

Before meeting up with her for dinner, I went to buy some gifts for her graduation party. I spent more than 100 dollars and did monogram for her. When we were ready to pay for the dinner, she asked the waitress to split the bill but was told we could only split evenly. Then I realized I ordered a drink ($3) to share. I guess she counted the drink on me, although we each had half of it. That was a quick thought process. After the waitress left, she said my dish was about 50 cents higher than hers and asked how I wanted to pay her back.

I was a bit surprised at the moment. We had gone to dinners many times. She’s the type who always orders an appetizer and a dish. So she always had more to pay. But we had always split the bill evenly. Sometimes she asked if I wanted her to pay me back, I said it was fine. Last night was the only time that she didn’t have appetizer and what I ordered was $3.5 than hers. She was so prompted to make me pay her back. I offered to pay the tip for the whole table. And she was okay with that.

I wasn’t and still am not very happy about that suggestion. I mean all those gifts she just received from me and she was being almost stingy with money. I don’t know if I’m overreacting now.

@Macy

Hi May, I appreciate your thoughts.

I get your point that some girls get obsessed with their boyfriend and stop investing in their friendship. Only when the relationship ended did they remembered to go to their friends. That’s never me. I always make sure I allocate time for my friends, even if I get very busy with school/work. I’m very supportive of my friends and the first person they think of when they need someone to listen/vent/be there. And I always held my words.

It’s still kinda difficult for me to look at the situation objectively, because to be honest, I wanted to spend time with my bf more than go to the party.

@Macy

I never thought of choosing between friends and boys. I may be young. And I always feel that boyfriend comes before besties if both situations are equally important. If a boyfriend isn’t worth my priority, why is he my boyfriend. Friends, on the other hand, have their lives. Also my boyfriend only has me as a girlfriend but friends aren’t singular and they may also have their significant others. I appreciate my friend and I come together and share interests. But at the end of the day, isn’t my boyfriend the one always supporting my choice and bringing out the best of me? People say guys come and go. I guess in a sense they are right. But are friendships really eternal?

I’m simply writing out my thoughts on friendship and romantic relationship. I’d love to hear what you think.

@Jerry

you think I may be overthinking now? I get wrapped up with these ideas and that my just want more time with him about every other month. I don’t even know if it’s a pattern now and if I can do anything about it

@anita

You’re not the first person pointing out that I’m actually not dating him. He’s not available a lot in my life and if anything it’s all in my head.

I thought a lot since he left. I kept thinking if it would be easier for me to step back officially and get my needs fulfilled elsewhere