Just an observation; when I read these threads what is the one commonality that they all share? Every single problem that people write in is about their relationships and experiences with other people. Do you think there is a connection to the fact that Buddha and Lao tze were hermits? Hermits were always considered wise by religions and cultures all over the world. From Christians to Buddhists, Daoists, hindu’s etc Maybe these guys figured something out?

• This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Kirk.

Wow, this story might as well have been written by me with just a few of the facts changed. My dad had a shop that I worked at, not a machinist but a blueprinting shop. My dad was also difficult, more than difficult, he was down right impossible sometimes and would go out of his way to try to embarrass me in front of other people whenever the mood was on him. Couldnt please him, and the other employees hated me because I was the bosses son and they feared I would take their job. Nobody would teach me anything beyond the very, very basics and even after I graduated from college I spent 2 years back in the shop sweeping floors, and taking out the trash while the other employees snickered behind my back. Berating and embarrassing me in front of customers and the other employees was becoming a daily occurrence until finally one day I just walked out and never went back.
Same story, after I left the shop it was a string of jobs and several career changes. I always felt disliked by fellow employees, and I know for a fact that I have never been valued by an employer. Anyway here is what I did; In my early 30’s I came to the conclusion that I was just never going to be happy living the conventional life. I knew I was never going to thrive at that game. Whether it’s my fault or everybody elses doesnt really matter. I took stock of myself, my strengths and weaknesses and asked myself what I really wanted to do with my life regardless of money. What would really make me happy? It took me a couple of years to come up with an answer and a basic plan. There was one thing that I loved, I have always been an outdoor’s guy. I woujld often pack a sack and a fishing pole and head off into the forest for days or even weeks when I had school break or was in-between jobs. Once I spent an entire summer in the bush, I fished my food and would pop out of the woods once a week or so to resupply in town ( I received more than my share of stares, believe me ). But thats when I was truly happy, and honestly those were the only times I was truly happy back then. I remember the shadow that hung over my head when I knew it was my last day out and I’d have to go back to ‘real life’. I decided that was the life that I wanted. I realize this is extremely unorthodox thinking to our modern sensibilities, but I decided that I had one life to live and I was going to do what I wanted with it and not allow fear or other people’s opinions to change me. I had a house in the suburbs that my mom left to me. I sold it and bought a cabin in a state park with some good acreage. And there I live still and am writing to you from there. Over the years I learned to make a little money at farmer’s markets, and I raise some livestock for resale. The first thing that happened was my family basically disowned me, and those I thought were my friends disappeared. When I saw them they would ask what I’m doing and as I began to explain they would exchange looks to each other when they thought I couldnt see. OK, I thought, this isnt really surprising and it was pretty obvious to me that these were toxic people that I was well rid of. When I was miserable working shit jobs like they had, they liked me because my choices in life reaffirmed their own. Now that I was doing something very different, that they could not fathom and I was obviously happy, in shape, and beaming, they didnt like me anymore because I made them uncomfortable with their own choices. I’m sad to say that I no longer have any communication with family or my old “friends”. They had to be cut out in order for me to be free to pursue my happiness. It was a bitter pill and yet another lesson for me about human nature and life in general. Chalk it up to being on the road to wisdom.

Odd as it sounds, they say there is someone for everyone, and even a hermit like me found himself a wife. I had a brief stint in a nearby town doing some temp labor and I met a girl, we got married, we have a son. She works in town and has brought some civilization into my life that I still struggle with at times. I still take off and go hunting or fishing for days at a time, I’d go nuts if I couldnt.. But I run the farm pretty much 24/7. The summer is for raising our meager crops and heading off to the markets, the fall is for the cattle auction, the winter is for wood cutting, and the spring starts it all over again. I work on my own, my way, at my pace. When I need rest I take it. I now love my life and my work. There’s days I cant believe how fortunate I am and how glad I am that I had the courage to do this.

Anyway, I’m not suggesting you need to become a farmer or mountain hermit, that is definitely a very personal path. My point is that you are unhappy because none of the choices you made came from the exploration of your own happiness. Did you search your soul and some to the conclusion that, of all things in the world becoming a CAD draftsman would make you the most happy? No. You needed a job, and you tried to find one that wasn’t ‘as bad’ as whatever you were doing at the time. You have to ask yourself, if money was not a factor, what is it that you would like to do with your life? Or say ‘if I already had all the money I needed to meet the basics of life, what would I do with myself’? No answer is too far fetched. And it might take you a long time to figure that out. My original answer was I’d walk off into the woods and fish/hunt for the rest of life. Hey that sounds far fetched but it’s pretty much what I did and I’m the happiest Ive ever been. I hope you find your answer and have the courage to pursue it. Best of luck.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 11 months ago by Kirk. Reason: spelling