I took a week off to meditate on it and i reached the same conclusion. It is just so hard to believe that it wont get better than this.
about holding grudges: i know that they hurt me and i would wish they would acknowledge it instead of pushing me into this role of the unthankful, cold child. On the other hand, of course i feel guilty: it is somehow tempting to believe they are right and i just have to fix myself to have a loving family.
Luckily i am in a good place: i have a loving boyfriend (5years), good friends, a home and a steady job so i really do hope i can work myself through this and close the chapter.
Thank you a lot again!
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