Forum Replies Created
November 30, 2013 at 12:33 pm #45992
Hey Charli… I just want to tell you that you’re not alone. In fact, what you describe sounds very similiar to what I am going through right now – the internal as well as the external factors. I’ve additionally been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and social anxiety. I am just floating around right now, back at my parents, and waiting to be admitted to a psychosomatic clinic for more intense psychotherapy. Most of the days I manage, though I feel awful, believing that I won’t feel like this forever if I get some professional help and start taking actions (which feels almost impossible for me to do on my own right now). There are moments though when I feel completely hopeless and, just like you, I can’t keep myself from asking: what if I stay like this forever? It’s a paralyzing and toxic question – if there’s nothing you can do about, why should you even try? One thing I learnt by now is that thoughts alone are meaningless but if we give them so much power, they create our reality, often in a warped way.
I think you should consider getting professional help if you haven’t already. Though sometimes there are just times when everything feels wrong and depressing and it may only be a sign that it’s time for a change of scenery, I think you may profit from therapy, especially since you said you haven’t been happy since you were a teenager. When it all came down on me this august, my body started protesting against all the stress I put myself under for years. There are a lot of deep issues and thus habits I haven’t dealt with and I guess neither my mind nor my body can take it anymore which is why I feel the way I do right now. Of course, this is only my opinion and it’s based a lot on what I am going through right now so I don’t know if you can relate.
I wish you all the best and a big hug,
HannahOctober 11, 2013 at 2:30 am #43613
I spent my whole life (21 years) being afraid of everything, especially when it came to talking to people and being honest to and about myself. I didn’t even realize until a couple weeks ago when I started having strong panic attacks and became depressed because I felt incredibly lonely and like I’d been avoiding life forever. I know how you feel and I dont know a real answer. Meditation helped me a lot as I started to deal with my fear instead of surpressing it. Sometimes I would just lie in bed and let the fear wash over me without judging and resenting it. I always felt lighter afterwards.
I don’t know if you stop doing certain things because you’re scared – it’s what I do and it doesn’t help. Neither does torturing yourself by forcing yourself to do something. The most important thing is that you’re patient with yourself. You don’t need to understand all the causes of your fear right away, it’s complex. I don’t know, sometimes I feel we know more about ourselves than we want to see, going deep can be painful but liberating. For now, see it as a good thing that you recognized this fear and want to do something about. Get yourself professional help, you don’t need to go through this by yourself. Maybe tell a little bit more about yourself here, if that helps. Remember that you’re not alone!October 9, 2013 at 7:24 am #43469
Thank you both so much for your kind and encouraging words. He broke up with me yesterday – I have been suffering a lot the past weeks so it wasn’t as much a shock as a relieve, though a painful one. I’ll try to take your advice and start approaching a more joyful and self-destined life instead of ceasing to do things out of fear.
Thanks again for your support,
HannahOctober 8, 2013 at 8:30 am #43429
I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such a rough time but I think you are doing a really brave and good thing for yourself by going to Ireland. 🙂 This is probably just what you need. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time and experiences and it’s important to see that doing things on your own can be just as fulfilling as with a partner or friend – probably more since you learn things about yourself you wouldn’t have thought possible before. Don’t beat yourself up about still missing him, it’s one step at a time. Getting out of your routine, starting to see things from a different perspective – that’s a very important step and you’re doing it. Planning a trip all by yourself requires courage and strength especially in a situation like that, so be proud of yourself! Remember you’re not alone. I wish you all the best ♥