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lexy99ParticipantHi, thanks I do need to get better at that. Just yesterday someone rang from a guy at work from another’s company’s human resources and I immediately panicked thinking he’d got an interview or something, but they were just phoning for a reference. I jump to the worst conclusion all the time because I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle things if the worst thing did happen and it would also stop me from being able to go in the direction I want.
Ie. if someone left and I then requested a store transfer I would probably be denied it because of staffing issues.
I’ve written to my hr to see what the situation is with the holidays and if the answer is no sorry then at least I know what my options are. Then comes the guilt if I do decide to transfer
lexy99ParticipantThanks, i know that i panic and over-react when things like this happen. Im trying to think clearly and have written a set of ideas/plan.
The first being to discuss with this my manager and failing that HR to see what the situation is as this strongly affects both our family lives now, doesnt even allow for one in fact, and would not be acceptable to me. If they say that that’s that then i will have to start thinking about my options.
In the meantime I will talk to my other manager to see if she has any hours available and to let us know when. Maybe i could do some trial hours as well.
I know i panic when these things happen but if this is the situation from now then working wth this guy isnt going to work out for me and i need to do something about it
lexy99ParticipantOh my gosh, I could have written this post. Let me tell you about me first.
I’m 25. Have worked for a major UK coffee chain since 2006 when I was 16 while I was doing uni and stuff, became assistant manager. This time last year left because I was sick of it, long hours, serving rude people, being a general dogsbody, I’m sure you know what I mean. Worked 2 crap jobs and just over one week ago have found myself back in my old store, agreeing to take my old assistant manager job back. I feel depressed, useless, hopeless, overwhelmed and completely like there is no point to anything with no way out, ever. I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years!. trust me when I say I know what you’re going through. I don’t want to do this job either. I don’t want to be a cleaner, floor sweeper, take crap from people but don’t have any other options at the moment.
My advice would be to firstly not give in. I know its a hard job but the more experience the better.
Think about what skills you have learnt. I know that delegation is crap and you can do a better job alone standing on your head but being able to manage people is a valuable skill. I’m sure there are loads of others like organisation, balancing stock etc
Start looking. You won’t find another job unless you’re looking for one. However I would suggest not jumping on the bandwagon. I hated the first job I had because I went for the first one that gave me an interview and ended up in insurance!
Think about what you might like to do and focus your efforts on getting there. And focus on the positive, you have a goal to reach, to get your boyfriend over here. Let that be your motivation. You say you have nothing to offer but you don’t get to manager easily, it’s a tough job.If you want to talk more message me because I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. (I happen to be having an ok day today which is why I could write a positive post)
lexy99ParticipantI del like total crap that I’m back here now. I haven’t progressed at all and am even nervous of getting my old position back, I can’t do anything
lexy99ParticipantWell i quit my part time jb today which leaves me no option but to go back to the coffee shop job. I think im gonna take the asisstant job but im soooo nervous. I left this job a year ago and vowed never to go back, now i have the opportunity to go back and work up. And if i dont go i have no idea what else i’ll do
lexy99Participant@CherryBlossomGirl said:
Wanting to make changes in your life is frightening. It’s much easier said than done. It’s like I know that I want a change, but I don’t know what that change is or where to begin. Like, I know what I don’t want in life, but at the same time I don’t know what I want. And I also think part of my problem is that I want things to go perfectly every time. And I guess this fear of failure is just stopping me from even trying anything. It’s just that my life right now is sort of monotonous. And I don’t necessarily want a life that’s like an action movie, but I think I need a change of scenery or something.
And it’s not just the fact that I live in a bit of a dull town, it’s also that I feel so inadequate compared to everyone else around. Even at my job, I just feel so small and I’m 24. I just feel like I need to be on my own for a while. I guess it’s just that I know that I can’t make a change unless I get out of my comfort zone, and I HATE my comfort zone, and I’m scared, but I’m just itching to leave.Hi Jerris,
I feel exactly like you right now. Im going to be 25 next week and am not where i want to be. The trouble is making the changes to get where i want to be is bloody terrifying!! I also want things to go perfectly first time so making any decision is scary in case of ‘what if’. I still live at home with my parents and really want to move out and get my life started but at the same time am too scared to leave home. And dont worry, i bet my job is even more inadequate than yours and my only other option atm is to work in a coffee shop!!
My advice would be to do what your heart and gut tells you. These are often more right than the head is. Making ANY decision, ANY change at the moment is good. Even saying ‘I will move and teach abroad by the end of 2015’. You have made that decision and it gives you something to aim for.
For me, I might be going back to my old job at a coffee shop to work up to manager and im worried about what people will think of me but the way im trying to see it that this is my life, my decision and no-one elses. You are the one that has to live your with choices, not your mother. And if you go and it doesnt work out and you have to come home, thats fine. In fact, thats better than doing what your mother wants you to do, and in 20 years when you have a mortgage and kids to pay for, looking back and kicking yourself for not going.
Good luck!
lexy99ParticipantHi everyone.
Well i had my first day back today and quite enjoyed it. I slotted straight back in, remembered almost everything, it was like i had never been away.
Luckily there is an assistant manager position at my store so hopefully i can nab it before someone else does. Im still just filled of the nagging, worrying feeling of making the wrong choice and cant help thinking about why i quit before.
lexy99ParticipantThanks for your reply.
I am of course going to give proper notice and not disappear but might give my boss a heads up warning why I want to see her first – I won’t be working for the next 4 weeks as my contract states I only work school term times so I’ll need to make a trip in if I’m going to resign and I’d rather her be aware first than have it be a shock.
I just can’t get over this guilty feeling and I’m going to feel worse if I need to work a bit of my notice period.
lexy99ParticipantJust bumping this up to see if anyones got anymore words of wisdom. 3 weeks to go until i can have a chat with my old manager and everyday im wavering about what to do
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This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by
lexy99.
lexy99ParticipantThanks for your replies, I guess I was looking for reassurance that going backwards doesn’t make me a total loser.
I had a one to one with my manager and she talked me thought the admin and filing she wants me to do but I thought where is there to go after that once the office has been organised? I really can’t see any progression for me.
Luckily this is a term time job so during the Easter holiday ill be back at the coffee shop for some hours so ill be able to think and have a chat with the manager about it.
And thanks danyelly its nice to know I’m not the only one
lexy99ParticipantHi, thanks for your reply! I think you’re right, I did enjoy my time there but I do worry about about what people will think of me if/when i go back. For alot of people that kind of job is a stop gap thing and ive known so many people who have just worked there whilst theyre studying for other things. 2 girls i know are studying to be midwives, and here i am with ambition to be a manager.
Really i dont have any career dreams. Id like one day to be a mother and look after my kids and have enough money to be comfortable but I dont have any dream job in mind at all. Other than that i love food and cooking but im really not sure where or how id get into that and im not prepared to go back to college and study more.
My parents are very supportive and think i should go back and make a proper go of it but i keep wavering. Before i left I was so fed up and vowed never to go back and im just worrried ill end up in the same position again with nowhere else to go
lexy99ParticipantAnd the other crazy thing, and this is really silly….. Because i dont know what else to do… Im scared to go back to the job in case something one day happens (i.e. i get fired) and i wont have a job at all, then what would I do?!
lexy99ParticipantHi everyone, thought I would reply to this thread instead of starting a new one.
So i got myself a new job and its in an area Id like to progress in and is more suited to me so thats good. I definitely dont feel sad about leaving my insurance job.
Today is the end of my first week and Im happy to be here but still weepy and randomly crying – on the way to work today and at lunch. I dont know what it is. Maybe just new job jitters and stress getting on top of me. Im happy with the work I have to do but there are alot of new people to meet and as its a student union everyone is quite outgoing and as an introverted person it takes me a while to open up to new people and fully join in. I sat on my own at lunch today so get some ‘me-time’ in which I need quite alot of but at the same time felt isolated and alone as I dont know anyone to sit with if i wanted to.
The other thing im scared/worried about is the future. This job is term time only and while it pays well per hour, I will need another job in the summer. This worries me in case I cant find one. Im living at home so having money to pay rent isnt a problem – my parents know my situation and are supportive but i dont want to take advantage and i dont want to end up having nothing to do for around 3 months. I suppose if that happens I could go travelling.
I suppose the main thing is that Im struggling to cope with change. I left a job this time last year that id been doing for 7 years so I was very settled. Now for the first time ever I have no idea where I am or what the future holds. And thats terrifying
lexy99ParticipantHi Jonathan, thanks for replying. Im sure theyd have me back if there was room and I might consider that job again in the future if i needed to but it was never a ‘career’ job for me, i wanted to get out for ages and i think going back would be a step backwards. And I’d be looking to change jobs again anyway. Right now I’d like to find a job I feel settled in
lexy99ParticipantHi,
Thank you so much for your replies, they really mean alot. It is nice to know that Im not the only one who is or has gone through this but its hard not to feel alone.
And thank you for your confirmations that staying at home is what my heart is pulling me towards. I never thought about it like that, Ive always been pulling away from that thinking that just because Im 24 I should be moving soon but thinking about it I really am being pulled more towards staying at home and thats fine. I really cant think of anywhere else I would rather be.
In terms of career, I have no idea what to do or how to get there.Some days I can be absolutely fine but I’ll go on a walk at lunch and just start crying. Ive been thinking about maybe joining some anxiety or meditation support groups to try and help me through as I do suffer from trichotillomania (hair pulling) as well and have done for about 10 years. I just dont know what to do
There are various ideas Ive been playing around with including certain job types and temping
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This reply was modified 9 years, 2 months ago by
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