Forum Replies Created
January 4, 2017 at 3:20 pm #124538
Generally, day to day its fine, in fact its getting alot better. Just the next few weeks especially and then a few more after that are going to be stressful. I could end up with a disappointed boss or i could end up having a disciplinary. I know its really not long but i finally settled down a bit and its all coming back up right near the end. Plus i have alot to do in not long so cant really do one small challenge at a timeJanuary 4, 2017 at 5:45 am #124483
So i have 3 weeks in my secondment left, 6 days of which i am on holiday (yay!) But we are expecting the next audit any day now. Also, as of the end of january there will be a month between where my contract ends and the next manager is able to start so they’re saying they will get a temp in for February. As long as it isnt me i’m happy!
However i am starting to feel anxiety again about the whole thing, i personally dont care about failing the audit but i dont want to let the new manager down or get a bollocking for it again. I just have this horrible anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, im not sure what it is but im feeling the pressure mounting again, it ridiculous how they pile it on… it would be so nice to go back to a position where my responsibilities are basic, ignorance is bliss as they say!
Im hoping that after a while things will settle down but im starting to feel like ive got all i can out of the job/company and as i dont want to progress any higher theres not alot keeping me there, only a steady paycheck, being good at my job and the people i work with. Im also not ready for the stress of a job hunt and interviewing just yet though
Ps. House move went very well, all in and set up now with a little push from my boyfriend, no homesickness yet!November 22, 2016 at 2:29 pm #120970
Thanks so much for your help!
Since the audit its been fine at work, usual day to day stuff although my boss is coming in tomorrow to help with some stuff so im starting to get nervous about that.
I still have 2 months to go but have pretty much decided that management isnt for me. I am not a leader or a ‘boss’, its not in my nature. Plus the extra stress, effort, working on my days off is not for me. I’d be happy stacking shelves in a supermarket if it paid enough and allowed me not to think about it at home!
Im going to allow my new manager time to settle in and see how it goes but im starting to think i might start looking for something else late spring/early summer. Management isnt for me and at this point i can do my job standing on my head!
Last time i changed jobs i did it out of a reactive response; to move away from my job to do anything else rather than towards something i want. But i want something different to learn, a better work life balance. Im going to look with this in mind, research the job and companies more, and maybe try and do stuff like volunteering, evening classes to try some stuff out first. Last time, i ‘left’ it was only for 12 months and i ended up right back where i started. I dont want to do that againNovember 12, 2016 at 1:26 am #120145
Thank you Mishika, I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and overthink things too much, just let it happen and what will be will be. It’s not so easy though, and I have no idea what else I would do otherwise.
I’ve been with this job on and off for ten years and as much as I don’t like it I am attached and to the staff especially…. I would feel awful for leaving themNovember 12, 2016 at 1:22 am #120144
Hmm I see what you’re saying but I don’t think it would happen, it’s like asking your boss to never check up on you, however I’m not above telling her again when I get too stressed out. Now that the audit is over I feel better but I was so so so close to a burnout before, when it was over I went home and slept for 14 hours!
It’s also the additional responsibility I’m hating, I don’t want to be thinking about the store on my day off, or thinking what am I going to do when someone has too many sick days, I work better in a team, I can’t be a bossNovember 10, 2016 at 1:18 pm #120075
They are the same person Anita, right now she is a area manager but will come down to be out store manager as I don’t wish to continue doing it. I think talking to her about that is a good idea, she may not be happy with that though as its in her interest to visit the store. Today though, no one came in to bother me and everything ran smoothly so I had a good dayNovember 10, 2016 at 2:30 am #120042
The other thing is that it would be so hard for me to say I am stepping down because there is no else to do it until the end of January and it has a knock on effect for me because it’s in the store I work in. If it was a secondment to a different shop, place, department it’s easier because the vacancy you leave isn’t your problem or doesn’t affect you. But here it does so I don’t have a choice but to do it.
I’ve also started worrying about what will happen when the new manager starts. My old one was amazing, that’s why I enjoyed my job, but I feel like it’s going to be 24/7 intense scrutiny all the time and it’s making me feel like I should start looking for a new jobNovember 10, 2016 at 2:03 am #120038
Hi, thanks for remembering! We didn’t but we are moving in 5 weeks I’m so excited!
I have spoken to my boss about how I’m feeling and she was very nice and understanding about it all and I have decided to return to my original role In January so she will be our store manager. I want to try to see this through til then though as I feel it’s silly to quit as its only 3 months and I did enjoy my job before this – although with her as my new manager I might feel differently now, she’s very intense and strict.
I had my official audit yesterday that unfortunately you can’t stop and did fail but not as badly as I thought so I’m happy with that. Now I’m worried that my boss is going to be on my case all the time, coming in all the time, picking up on everything when I would be happier left alone.
That’s the part I can’t handle is being under constant scrutiny and criticism, no matter how well you’re doing there will be something wrong, and I am constantly on edge that someone will come in and criticise everything when I am trying my best.
The facts are that I am a totally new manager, no training, looking after the busiest shop in the area, with 20+ staff and a lot of the other managers have never had that much, however if I was to explain this to someone they wouldn’t let me off any or be understanding, that’s how I feel anyway.
Before I was fairly relaxed about everything and just got on with it but I wake up every morning with cramps in the pit of my stomach from anxiety and nerves, despite having a good day yesterday. I really don’t want to quit or be signed off sick as I want to be there for my team but I have been feeling very close to walking out or having a burnout and just want to make it through!!
I also find it difficult talking about my feelings, especially face to face so I would find it so so hard to say to my boss ‘I am this close to walking out’June 5, 2016 at 7:09 am #106541
The only other problem is that i can feel myself becoming a horrible person without my own space. As an introvert, i just want my own space and the only place i can have that is my room. If i go downstairs, into the kitchen, into the garden, there’s always someone there talking to me and i just snap at them. Its nothing to do with them, i just dont want any interaction. Me and my sister understand this about each other and when to talk/not to talk to each other and its fine. We can spend days together in silence and be happy with that. But my parents dont get it, they’ll talk and talk.
I was just in the garden with my book and my dads friends came over, made themselves comfortable in the garden, being loud and ive had to retreat back to my room. Even though i wasnt involved in the converstaion, it was still too much.June 5, 2016 at 5:05 am #106534
Thanks for that, im exactly the same, especially the money bit!
Basically, i still have to wait for my sister to save more money and there’s not really alot of time to make it worth me moving out alone for a few months first, seems a waste of time and money for agency fees exactly. Im just gonna have to wait i guess, although i did make my sister promise that when the current tenant moves out in december, we will move in before xmas!!May 30, 2016 at 10:46 am #105996
Thank you, thats a very good point.
Im feeling better about things than i did yesterday and am feeling less of the anxiety around ‘oh my gosh i must move out now!’. I may regret waiting 6 months but me and my sister did agree that we would give her time to acclimate to her new job and save a bit more money first. Because im ready money wise, i feel i should be doing more sooner.
And everyone is reminding that 6 months is quicker than i think.May 29, 2016 at 11:24 am #105913
Well she offered us to take it when it came up for rent. Instead of going through an agency she would do it privately so save us all the fees and about £800 each. My sister has just started a new job though and i have some anxiety issues so she said do we want to wait 6 months to think about/get used to new job. She will rent it to someone else for 6 months and nearer the time, if we’d like to have it she will not extend their lease and we can move straight in.
With her as our landlord we’re saving so much money and we know that the place is clean, in good condition, and we can rely on her to fix things/help when things go wrong. However i know that if we decide no, the current tenant can stay on or it will be very easy round here to get someone else.
I dont know, i just feel like my time is slipping away from me,like i shouldnt be waiting to do something im really looking forward to doing (i keep dreaming about moving in!). at the same time, i have anxiety problems about moving out of my parents place and i know that other places will not let me have 6 months to think about it, ill have to decide in a week which is too much pressure for me.These 6 months are allowing me to get used to the idea, which i pretty much am, and the place is a 5 minute walk from home so it will be fine is things go wrongMay 29, 2016 at 5:13 am #105892
Well i dont want to let my sister or my friends mum (who has done us a massive favour) down. Plus, i already do my own washing, cleaning, cook for the whole family,shop when i have to and pay rent etc etc.
Its just the fact that i will be that much older when i do move out thats bothering meOctober 29, 2015 at 12:40 pm #86382
Hi, thanks for your replies, they helped alot. I tend to overhtink things alot which makes things worse, I need to just bite the bullet and do it.
And i like the idea of setting a time limit, having a ‘routine’ as such to simplify it all; go on the date for up to 2 hours, go home, think about it, go on another date.
I also need to remember tht a date is just a date, nothing more unless im happy with thatAugust 5, 2015 at 10:05 am #81275
Hi, thanks for taking such interest. The place I would like to go back is the same place I had worked many years before and ended up back at after taking a year out to try something else. I am still in the same situation as described in my previous post however.
Just over a year ago I tried moving out and getting my own place (well with roommates) and lasted a whole week before I moved back home.
I guess my fear started around 2/3 years ago. After i finished school, i went to uni and loved it, had no fear of moving away from home, living with strangers, I just did it. Since ive been back and not really being sure what i want to do with myself I seem to have retreated further and further into my shell; ive become much more introverted, even social events and the prospect of meeting new people terrifies me whereas, at uni, I would have been right in the middle of it. I dont date because Im terrified of meeting new people. Id still like to get my own place and a new job that i can build a career in but dont want to move away from my family, my village, my street, even though id just be 20/30 mins away – to me, that might as well be 100 miles.
I have no idea what brought this on, maybe a few ‘failed’ attempts at new things. I sailed through uni and graduated (still no fear), then a year later I took on a teaching course that I hated but stayed with anyway. That was a tough year and a tough thing to get through. When i left my job for the year out I had 2 jobs; one an insurance that was depressing, i stayed at for 9 months, and a receptionist job for 3 months. Neither of them fitted me so i went back to my original job, same place, where I was ‘somebody’. I was known and respected and knew what i was doing. So I get promoted and move to the new store but i just want my old one back. Since moving I feel like i dont have room in my personal life for other things (like dating that I am trying to get back into) because I am worrying about work, or recovering from a busy day. As i said, when working at the old store, I relaxed on my days off, did other things, no fear. Now, I dont know what I am afraid of but i just want to get rid of this anxiety and uncertainty. I guess maybe the old store is so predictable, there isnt really any of that.
But thats what im looking for in life. I know that challenges are something that are going to happen whether you like it or not but you dont have to go looking for them? And i dont intend to take my career any further than the position I am in now so in that respect moving back wouldnt be an issue for me.