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November 8, 2016 at 9:29 pm #119971lexy99Participant
My boss recently left to open up a new store, great opportunity for her but as the next assistant manager it was down to me to step into the role. Granted I didn’t have to but I really was the on,y one for the job so couldn’t really say no, I’m doing this til the end of January.
I’ve only been doing it a month and I’m in hell. I can’t deal with the pressure of impending audits, my boss coming in all the time critiquing when we’re at the busiest time of year. I feel like I need to be on top of everything all the time but I’m so overwhelmed, everything is crumbling around me. Ours is the busiest store in the region, I’ve had no training other than as an assistant and my previous managers experience was 10 years, mine has been 10 minutes.
I told my new boss this, that I can’t handle it and definitely don’t want to continue in January but I don’t think I can last til then. I think I’ve burnt out, I’m exhausted mentally and physically, I slept 30 minutes last night, every evening after work I cry and cry about the ridiculously high expectations. I’m half wishing for a bad audit and for them to pick up on it so I can say please help!
My boss said I could ring at any time but I wouldn’t know what to say other than hello, having a bad day today! Will type more but need to go, I don’t know what to do!
November 9, 2016 at 11:49 am #119996AnonymousGuestDear lexy99:
Before replying to this thread: did you and your sister move as you were considering moving 5.5 months ago? It was to take 6 months for the place to be ready for you. Did it happen?
Regarding this job- did you express to your boss how you feel? If you do, and he is interested in keeping you in the position, maybe he will be willing to accommodate you by reducing your work load and his audits?
anita
November 10, 2016 at 2:03 am #120038lexy99ParticipantHi, thanks for remembering! We didn’t but we are moving in 5 weeks I’m so excited!
I have spoken to my boss about how I’m feeling and she was very nice and understanding about it all and I have decided to return to my original role In January so she will be our store manager. I want to try to see this through til then though as I feel it’s silly to quit as its only 3 months and I did enjoy my job before this – although with her as my new manager I might feel differently now, she’s very intense and strict.
I had my official audit yesterday that unfortunately you can’t stop and did fail but not as badly as I thought so I’m happy with that. Now I’m worried that my boss is going to be on my case all the time, coming in all the time, picking up on everything when I would be happier left alone.
That’s the part I can’t handle is being under constant scrutiny and criticism, no matter how well you’re doing there will be something wrong, and I am constantly on edge that someone will come in and criticise everything when I am trying my best.
The facts are that I am a totally new manager, no training, looking after the busiest shop in the area, with 20+ staff and a lot of the other managers have never had that much, however if I was to explain this to someone they wouldn’t let me off any or be understanding, that’s how I feel anyway.Before I was fairly relaxed about everything and just got on with it but I wake up every morning with cramps in the pit of my stomach from anxiety and nerves, despite having a good day yesterday. I really don’t want to quit or be signed off sick as I want to be there for my team but I have been feeling very close to walking out or having a burnout and just want to make it through!!
I also find it difficult talking about my feelings, especially face to face so I would find it so so hard to say to my boss ‘I am this close to walking out’
November 10, 2016 at 2:12 am #120039MishikaParticipantHi lexy99
Nobody could force you to do something that you really don’t wish to do . You must do something you are passionate about not something you are forced to do unwillingly.
Follow your heart !!
PERIOD
http://www.magicalvibe.com/follow-your-heart/mishika
November 10, 2016 at 2:30 am #120042lexy99ParticipantThe other thing is that it would be so hard for me to say I am stepping down because there is no else to do it until the end of January and it has a knock on effect for me because it’s in the store I work in. If it was a secondment to a different shop, place, department it’s easier because the vacancy you leave isn’t your problem or doesn’t affect you. But here it does so I don’t have a choice but to do it.
I’ve also started worrying about what will happen when the new manager starts. My old one was amazing, that’s why I enjoyed my job, but I feel like it’s going to be 24/7 intense scrutiny all the time and it’s making me feel like I should start looking for a new job
November 10, 2016 at 2:56 am #120045MishikaParticipantHI Lexy
Then you shouldn’t be worrying around because you have to work till January so there shouldn’t be any doubt but yes you must start looking for a job as you do not wish to continue if you do not like your new manager . SO you shouldn’t just predict before that your new manager will not be good .
I am sure you are feeling this because you were so comfortable with your previous manager that thinking about the new manager is scaring you. But let this new manager take over you never know you might just like him /her more.
Plus until january you have to work no matter what . Till January you’ll also come to know about your new manager so you can easily take the decision of staying with this job or leaving this job.Mishika 🙂
November 10, 2016 at 8:23 am #120057AnonymousGuestDear lexy99:
I am hoping to read an update about your move in December, that will be!
You wrote that you spoke to your manager and she was nice and understanding. And the resolution of that talk, as I understand it, is that you will return to your desired job January. Having had a good experience talking to her, talk to her some more about reducing the audits, the scrutinizing supervision that is distressing you. Tell her you will function better left alone. See if you can come to a compromise on this.
The new manager- I didn’t understand- is that the January job boss? And he/she is more strict than the nice-and-understanding boss?
anita
November 10, 2016 at 1:18 pm #120075lexy99ParticipantThey are the same person Anita, right now she is a area manager but will come down to be out store manager as I don’t wish to continue doing it. I think talking to her about that is a good idea, she may not be happy with that though as its in her interest to visit the store. Today though, no one came in to bother me and everything ran smoothly so I had a good day
November 10, 2016 at 8:51 pm #120095AnonymousGuestDear lexy99:
This is important information: that today you were not audited, and you had a good day. So your current job can feel okay for you IF you continue to not be audited.
Definitely, do talk to your area manager- get her cooperation to not audit you, however it can be accomplished. Since she is the same manager you expect to have in January, and she was already nice and cooperative, I am thinking she is motivated to work WITH you (not against you). She audits way less, you do a better job, that will be a good arrangement for both of you.
Hope you post again; would like to know what happens.
anita
November 12, 2016 at 1:22 am #120144lexy99ParticipantHmm I see what you’re saying but I don’t think it would happen, it’s like asking your boss to never check up on you, however I’m not above telling her again when I get too stressed out. Now that the audit is over I feel better but I was so so so close to a burnout before, when it was over I went home and slept for 14 hours!
It’s also the additional responsibility I’m hating, I don’t want to be thinking about the store on my day off, or thinking what am I going to do when someone has too many sick days, I work better in a team, I can’t be a boss
November 12, 2016 at 1:26 am #120145lexy99ParticipantThank you Mishika, I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and overthink things too much, just let it happen and what will be will be. It’s not so easy though, and I have no idea what else I would do otherwise.
I’ve been with this job on and off for ten years and as much as I don’t like it I am attached and to the staff especially…. I would feel awful for leaving them
November 12, 2016 at 5:47 am #120158MishikaParticipantHI lexy99
I understand that if you have been associated with this company for 10years it will not easy to leave . So just keep your hopes high . Plus still if you dint like than theres no point working under pressure then leaving the job would be the most suitable decision for you.
God says if we will keep our trust in him he will always make a way even when it looks like there is no way . Just remember this
You can also read
http://www.magicalvibe.com/work-life-balance/
Mishika 🙂November 22, 2016 at 2:29 pm #120970lexy99ParticipantThanks so much for your help!
Since the audit its been fine at work, usual day to day stuff although my boss is coming in tomorrow to help with some stuff so im starting to get nervous about that.
I still have 2 months to go but have pretty much decided that management isnt for me. I am not a leader or a ‘boss’, its not in my nature. Plus the extra stress, effort, working on my days off is not for me. I’d be happy stacking shelves in a supermarket if it paid enough and allowed me not to think about it at home!Im going to allow my new manager time to settle in and see how it goes but im starting to think i might start looking for something else late spring/early summer. Management isnt for me and at this point i can do my job standing on my head!
Last time i changed jobs i did it out of a reactive response; to move away from my job to do anything else rather than towards something i want. But i want something different to learn, a better work life balance. Im going to look with this in mind, research the job and companies more, and maybe try and do stuff like volunteering, evening classes to try some stuff out first. Last time, i ‘left’ it was only for 12 months and i ended up right back where i started. I dont want to do that again
November 22, 2016 at 4:23 pm #120972AnonymousGuestGood thinking, lexy99- evaluating your work experiences, finding out your preferences and strengths and deciding to be proactive instead of reactive is best.
anitaJanuary 4, 2017 at 5:45 am #124483lexy99ParticipantANXIETY!!!!!!
So i have 3 weeks in my secondment left, 6 days of which i am on holiday (yay!) But we are expecting the next audit any day now. Also, as of the end of january there will be a month between where my contract ends and the next manager is able to start so they’re saying they will get a temp in for February. As long as it isnt me i’m happy!
However i am starting to feel anxiety again about the whole thing, i personally dont care about failing the audit but i dont want to let the new manager down or get a bollocking for it again. I just have this horrible anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, im not sure what it is but im feeling the pressure mounting again, it ridiculous how they pile it on… it would be so nice to go back to a position where my responsibilities are basic, ignorance is bliss as they say!
Im hoping that after a while things will settle down but im starting to feel like ive got all i can out of the job/company and as i dont want to progress any higher theres not alot keeping me there, only a steady paycheck, being good at my job and the people i work with. Im also not ready for the stress of a job hunt and interviewing just yet though
Ps. House move went very well, all in and set up now with a little push from my boyfriend, no homesickness yet!
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