Dear anita,

This is my response to your second post you kindly wrote.

What you have said has been helpful again, and thinking of memories that are negative, it seems they return to our consciousness so that we can learn something or as a warning, and so that we can perhaps heal and move forward.

It’s interesting that I have been wanting to let go of one particular relationship (I think there are others too), but have felt incredibly obligated, and then just lately I had to stop contact for the moment, for health reasons.   After doing this, I found that I was not having nearly so many cravings and I had a sudden shift in being able to prepare food somewhat more healthily (I say somewhat as I’m not good at cooking at the moment).

It seems that some of my relationships are there out of this sense of obligation, rather than affection freely given.

Thank you for sharing what you’ve said, it’s helped.

I’m only just really thinking of this as I’m writing, so I haven’t thought through my side versus their side.

I’m a bit reluctant to look at this topic straight away here, at least in a lot of depth.

I’ve read a bit about different personality types and attachments and that seems very relevant.

Where to go for a safe haven?   This is where I wish I could send a pm.

Dear anita,

This is my reply to your first response to my OP which you kindly gave.

Thank you for helping me by giving feedback on my questions.  I have been investigating the option of some free psychotherapy which might be available, but I won’t find out if I’m eligible for it for perhaps a couple of months (due to the time of year).    I’m not in a position to pay just now, however, so far, in this journey of seeking further healing, I have found that a lot of answers have come unexpectedly and primarily through working on my own, reading or I should say gleaning sometimes, because my concentration hasn’t always been good, and asking others about their experiences.  That said, I do recognise that psychotherapy is probably really necessary and I may have got the point I am at now a lot sooner, had I been able to see a psychotherapist before now.

Thank you in advance to anyone able to help.

Supportively, Sensitivity, Simplicity…… (I cheated here and googled a list of positive words beginning with S!

I must admit that I was rushing too when I chose my name.   I was thinking along the lines of clarity.

Thanks again, anita.    I hope that I’ll be able to post an update in future.

Yes, that’s so helpful.   I think establishing at the outset that I won’t be talking about certain issues and then being watchful.

What also comes to mind, is writing down a consequence for me if I were to discuss the issues I don’t want to.   I think that will help too.

On reflection, I don’t think I want to spend lots of time with others of the original belief – at least not until I’ve processed more.   I’m going to have to carry around with me a bit of paper with this on!

Dear anita,

Thanks so much for your explanations – I’m finding they are really helping to provide insight and clarity to what has been happening.

I do think I need some therapy, and I’ll see if I can speak with someone within the next couple of weeks.

Thanks again.