Hi Tristan,

I hope your well. I just wanted to share some of my experiences with you in regards to sexuality and I hope it can help you in some way.

I am a 33 year old woman with 2 kids and a loving partner and I have questioned wether or not I am ‘a lesbian/bi-sexual’ many times.

This first started in my teens and I suppressed the thoughts. They reappeared in my late 20’s – I began to love women and if did myself looking at women thinking “she is beautiful”  or sometimes “sexy” I wondered if I would be better of with a woman and I found women so interesting and special.

over the years this has continued. I am more likely to notice I good looking woman than a good looking man in a crowd. Often, I have dreams I am having a sexual experience with other women when my partner is sleeping right next to me-this happened just a few weeks ago.

Am I gay? Or Bi? I still do not know. These are just labels anyway. On reflection, when I looked back at when I first started having theses thoughts about women, was a time when I first started to feel love for myself and appreciate myself as a female. When I suppressed these feelings I suppressed part of me… being able to look at women and say they are sexy or beautiful is not an indication of homosexuality. I love both men and women equally, in doing so I am able to love myself fully. I hope this makes sense, I don’t want to go on too much.

The sexual dreams I have had are about women I have met and I like them in one way or another so for some reason my mind translates that into sex, I don’t know why, I’m still exploring this. I think whenever we meet someone we like we feel a little bit of love for them regardless of gender.

Any way I don’t want to confuse you. My advice is: stop trying to push the thoughts away. Instead embrace them, say hi and see what they are all about.

We all have obsessive thoughts at times, it’s normal. Meditation helps with this, a lot.

Sending you lots of love and light.