Feel free to post in my thread. I don’t mind others receiving help in it…unless you think it’s more practical to make a new thread.

I want to respond to the scenario you wrote about Anita about the “saint of a man” but I haven’t been feeling well and dealing with other things. I will get around to responding to that thoroughly but for now can only say it would be nice to have even a small fraction of understanding and support you describe as I have not experienced even a little of that kind of support from a man. There are women out there that demand a lot from their husbands and boyfriends and they get it but I am not willing to play games or act as if I’m their boss. I would accept who they are if they would accept me. Acceptance is a two way street. No one accepts me.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Lisa.

I apologize for my many typos in my last post.

Lucas thank you for your kind, supportive and encouraging words and for the link.

I am glad that you also have a place where you can talk about how you feel and feel supported as well.

I hope that I can get to a place where I can contribute to this forum in a way that you, Anita and others do.

Anita you absolutely do not “have to” post on my thread and evidence of my beliefs lies in many who wish you wouldn’t and they can answer that question right now. The totally want me dismissed. I can’t remember once not appreciating or looking forward to your posts. That’s how I feel. How you feel about posting is what is important.

I get the feeling that I am supposed to be unaware and be the happy best friend to other women who get things handed to them. You think I hate men when I am disgusted by men who say “let me check with the boss” or another guy acts all apologetic to his wife or whatever she was when he made a simple mistake. How about thinking for yourself and not having to “check” with anyone but discuss. Your an individual and you should act like one.

When I am at work I have to take insults, be criticised and left out on top of that and after months of letting it all roll off my back I have now settled into being somewhat liked, on call for whomever needs a fill in but not truly wanted when it comes to anything outside of work. You see as long as I keep my mouth shut and smile, be available for work when someone calls out and go home I’m good.

When I am the customer other places I am also insulted. I can not explain everything now. I have to go.

I always want to get to the root of a problem to learn how something came to be so I can understand. There is always a reason for things I believe. I don’t accept “well that’s just the way it is.” I have to go to work again. I won’t accept injustice. That’s not an answer….and if things have to be unjust then I will call every injustice out no matter how much they don’t want to hear it. It’s my only power.

I have a difficult time accepting what someone thinks is my truth when my reality contradicts the what they think.

I want to know why I am unwanted. The trouble is you can not answer that so you have to look to me even though I have felt this way since I can remember. I felt like I was an annoyance first, felt like an annoyance at school from teachers, felt like a tag along with “friends,” felt like a “loyal” friend who was only there to support someone else and be made to fee just glad I had them as a friend and make them look like the better person. I was a good person but everyone puts themselves above me. They couldn’t be equal to me…they had to be better and ignore thier faults like they had none. I am punished and right now I am in a fight with every saboteur heading my way to mess up my job and I have dodged everyone. Can I keep up that pace. They determined to make sure I mess up and open my mouth. That’s my problem I talk but I am encouraged by what is happening.

Sorry for my seventeen page thread. I post here because I have no where else I can talk about this.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 8 months ago by Lisa.

Anita it is I who can’t win.

It is your choice to respond to my posts and I am grateful for your input but you certainly aren’t going to lose by not posting in my thread. I am sure there are plenty that wish you wouldn’t. I am not one of them.

You have many others on here I am sure say what you want to hear. I am sharing my truth which is why I chose to post under that title. I do not know how to be anything but truthful.

People in 2018 don’t care about anything that is “not my problem.”

Of course I’m going to get blamed for everything and somehow it’s my fault I get treated disrespectfully. How dare I smile and say good morning…how dare I ask if I am in someone’s way…How dare I ask before I do something at another job I have…even if I was proven in the right to ask. I am just annoying everyone by my presence and I have to be completely fine with their disrespect and annoyance. You think the people who see the unfairness would speak up? Oh no….they don’t want to ruin their standing and reputation and the admiration they receive.

I am sick of going into uncomfortable situation only to deal with someone don’t want to talk to. He can’t say anything to me today because I will not be able to be quiet.