luvthatsun

Participant
Hi Anita,

Do you feel lonely and afraid at times? I am feeling very lonely these days. I feel like I won’t have anyone in my life and that scares truly scares me. I had a bad day today and could not get it together to go to work. I am feeling better now and managed to block my ex on social media (which I thought was good step). I did some guided meditation and that helped alot. I feel like I would like to keep in touch with you more privately (email or even facebook) but not sure how to do that on here….lol. Sounds like you have come a long way over the years and you should be proud of that. I will persist! I am trying to take things one day at a time.

I was asking about where you live thinking you could attend an AA meeting with me cause that really scares me but I will eventually muster the courage to do it! Thanks again for taking the time to write to me. It helps alot to know I’m not alone.

Hi Anita,

Do you feel lonely and afraid at times? I am feeling very lonely these days. I feel like I won’t have anyone in my life and that scares truly scares me. I had a bad day today and could not get it together to go to work. I am feeling better now and managed to block my ex on social media (which I thought was good step). I did some guided meditation and that helped alot. I feel like I would like to keep in touch with you more privately (email or even facebook) but not sure how to do that on here….lol. Sounds like you have come a long way over the years and you should be proud of that. I will persist! I am trying to take things one day at a time.

I was asking about where you live thinking you could attend an AA meeting with me cause that really scares me but I will eventually muster the courage to do it! Thanks again for taking the time to write to me. It helps alot to know I’m not alone. 🙂

sue

Hi Anita,

My childhood was not the best. I think I have suppressed alot of my feeling….I know I have and am struggling to bring them all up. My father is an alcoholic and was very abusive with my mother. She put up with the abuse for years and years. My older sister would come to my room when the fighting would start and she would hide with me in my closet until the fighting stopped or sometimes we would have to go and “save” mom. Eventually my mom left with my dads bestfriend. My sister went to work on fishing boats and i was left (a young teen) to cope with my father. I would take care of him and make sure he got up for work every morning then get myself ready for school. Eventually I went to live my mom and her boyfriend. That lasted awhile and then she came to her senses and left him. She eventually ended up with R. She married him and we moved with R and his son. When I was 18yrs old my mom came to me and said I am moving away with R and his son, what are you going to do? So my mom was abandoning me again. My sister already had and I wasn’t going to live my father and his new wife. I moved out with my boyfriend and he physically and mentally abused me for 5 years. I finally left. My mom boyfriends son, whom I spent alot of time with, killed himself and that was very hard for me but of course nobody acknowledged my feeling. I was never shown love or respect. My mom was very selfish and only thought of herself. I also was sexually abused by my friends brother and her grandfather when I was about 7 or 8. Of course I turned to alcohol and that covered everything up. I just drank away my problems. Both my parents ended up marrying again, each for the 3rd time and to this day are still married.

I stopped drinking 7yrs ago but not because I thought I was an alcoholic but because this guy went to rehab to stop and I wanted to support him. I now know I am an alcoholic and I am finally trying to deal with things from the past. It is so hard and i am having trouble understanding how to do all of this. I think alot of my issues with this guy are that he made me feel safe and I always new he would never leave me so know that I did the breaking up I am totally scared. I have no idea what I am so afraid of. My anxiety is awful and I’m depressed but at the same time I know this relationship will never work as I’ve tried so many times. I know I have to figure out me and who I am. It’s so very hard! 🙁

Let me know if you have any other questions and any help would be most appreciated!

Thanks,
S.

Thanks Mini Buddha! Wow your reply was great and made me feel better already. I know 6 months is not long but I have been on and off with this guy for 10 years and usually it is me doing the breaking up so I guess I thought it would just be easier. I love all your ideas about getting my mind off of him. I will definately try some on those. Thank you also for the AA advice. Drinking actually did cross my mind at one point. He and I quit drinking together and he has started again. I DO NOT want to go down that route. I tell myself I can overcome all of this….I have to be strong….which some days is hard. Counselling is very helpful but also expensive. I am trying to go as much as possible. It’s so nice to have a group of people to go to on here. I’m sure I will get alot of this site. I also hope in the end I can help others. I think my next step may be to get rid of social media and contact with his family. This causes alot of pain and memories that I can’t deal with right now. Thanks again for your great advice…….

Sue