Dear Anita :

Hmmm..That make sense now. Thinking about all this, im saying to myself what mess did i get myself into??..Lol..

Although now her behaviour makes sense but i would have prefered a much honest conversation. If she would have sat me down and talked to me, i would have made her understand that im not gonna ask her for anything other than friendship.

Anyways now that she is close to deliver, im guessing she would be focusing completely about baby and might not even be thinking about me. So i guess it time that i let old memories go, and focus on my life too. Anyways i have a lot going on for me professionally, so im gonna focus on it and on my own betterment. Im gonna try and continue towards moving on. I know it is gonna take me some time and i will allow myself time to heal.

Hi Inky

Tbh im not obssesed with her and i understand her need to space. All im saying is decent conversation would have been ok. Im not imposing myself on her. On the contrary i have been very accomodating of her behaviour giving her space. Since i havent seen such scenario before in my life,i couldnt understand whats going on. Thats all..!!

?

Dear Anita :

Sure no problem. Im not sure how her relations are/were or have been with other females in her life. She once told me Im the only girl she has ever hugged. Again i was surprised cz i have hugged my mom, sisters female best friends too..I had even hugged my school teacher when i met her once in a market. That made me think that maybe no one has shown her pyshical affection. Maybe thats cause she is from a very conservative family. Confused or not, that doesnt give her a right to play with my emotions. At the very least she owes me explanation. And now that i think of it, i guess you are right about her being sexually interested cz once during out “Late night talks(yupp,she used to chat with me till 4 am 5 am while he was sleeping next to her), we were talking about our picnic which we had planned for just me and her and she told me she’d dance with me on our fav song, kiss me and then let me do whatever i want to do to her. I said im ok with dancing but i dont have any complusion of doing anything more..She asked what if i want to do. I said then we will talk cz i dont want to do something in heat of the moment and then regret it later on. She got upset thinking i dont want to do “It” with her..She then told me i give u full permission to flirt and be romantic with me unless it spoils our relation.

Tbh i had even forgotten about all this but now when you mentioned sexual interest, i remembered this.

Thats why i asked that did she just use to get what she was craving that time? Or did she really wanted to go all the way with me?

Dear Valora :

Agreed. This all started in Jan and till today im looking for answers. I dont like ambiguity. And tbh this is the first ever case in my life where i have to deal with so much confusion/silence. Usually people know that i like straight to the point talks and they normally do give me so it becomes easy for me. With this girl, it took me months to understand what I did wrong. i used to cry thinking maybe im a bad person, maybe i dont deserve her and all. I used to curse myself for hurting her. I used to beg her to talk to me. But after a point I stopped. When she blocked my new acc i was like WTF lady? Now im trying to move on and like are you trying to get my attention back by blocking me? I was so pissed that day. I was about to go to her home and demand answers but thankfully my other friend talked me out of it

Im finding it really hard to find closure without answers. I just keep thinking maybe i did something wrong or may be its just pregnacy phase or maybe he got involved etc etc..

Sorry but this is too messed up. And this all is hurting me too much cause i dont think i was so bad to her to deserve all this.

Dear Anita :

Well i never thought she was sexually interested in me. I mean i did knew she and him were not close that time cause he works day shift and me and her used to work nights.

I assumed it was just romantic feelings. Sometimes i used to ignore as i used to think she is just expressing her love in her own way. She never had anyone like me in her life. I had once given her surpise for her bday by taking her to a nice dinner. She then told me that no one has ever given her such a surpise. She used to feel hestiant to hug m or hold my hand. I on other hand am a bold person and some of my friends we do hug each other when we meet. She used to tell me she isnt used to hugging/holding hand. And i used to be really surprised as hers is a love marriage and they were bf gf for good 7-8 years before tieing the knot. Then i used to think that how come they never hugged/hold hands while being in a relationship.

I guess she wasnt getting that emotional connection from him when she met me and she just kinda lost control. And as Valora mentioned that Pregnancy might have been a wake up call for her.

I think her husband is involved too i guess cause he too have blocked my old acc. But he hasnt blocked my new accs though

Dear Anita :

Well, that makes sense now. But my point is we could have had a decent conversation about it. I never laid any expectation on her that she should leave her family/husband and come away with me. In fact now that you say, i think indeed it was an affair. During my bday last year, we had planned to spend the day together. She asked me to come way to early at house like at 7 am. I told her im not waking up so early on my bday. She then told me you do night over at my house and then you sleep between me and my husband. I was bit grossed out and i told her that Im not gonna sleep next to him, i would rather sleep on couch. But she said No you sleep between me and him. I said No you sleep between me and him or i sleep on couch as anyways im a late sleeper so i would watch TV.

About this relation at work, well that wont be an issue cause she is on her maternity and wont return until Dec. I just hope i get to see her baby. And i really dont want to lose the friendship but i guess either her feelings got deeper and with baby she realised that or she thinks that she might develop feelings if she continues. Either way its clear that she cant stay Just Friends with me

Dear Anita

Fights were generally. She never expresses fully and im more of face to face kinda person. We work at same place..Im manager and she is junior in another team. Her manager was pressurising her to stop talking to me and go on breaks with me. Now this girl never told me this clearly. She often used to say I dont want to come and when i would ask why she would get irritated and we would end up fighting. Once i had kept a status for someone else..She thought it was for her and got angry. After much convincing and explanation she agreed to talk to me. Then too i used to tell her that lets talk about our fights and solve issues, but she would always avoid the topic.

Last fight we had in Jan. She was 2 months along then and i was trying very hard to keep up with her mood swings. That time i was hospitalised for 3 days due to my migraine. She never once checked on me, even when i told her after coming back from hospital. That day i called her and asked her. She kept saying “I cant text/call her. We are normal friends for now. With time i will see. Dont expect ant caring from me right now”. I couldnt understand what happened suddenly and we fought. Although next day i did apologised cz i said much in anger. But i was hurt cz she knew how severe my migraines are and she couldnt even drop me a text to ask. Since that day she became complete silent. I said sorry many times, gave her a letter too expressing heart felt sorry.along with her fav chocolate. She gave the chocolate back after some days but never gave the letter back. I even told her i was jerk for not understanding her but got no response.

The blocking started randomly. She started with FB first where i was not even tagging her or anything. I thought maybe her husband would have asked her to do it. i thought maybe he would have read our texts/chats and raised concern. So i still tried to be patient. I would sometime drop her a friendship text(minus any romantic stuff). Sometimes i would tag her or send her something pregnancy related.

Then after 2 months she blocks me on instagram and after 2 hours on whatsapp. By this time she was coming to work so i tried to talk to her to know whats going on but again got ignored. So i left her alone. I had deleted my social media but after some days i opened new acc cz i wanted to leave the bad memories behind and start fresh and i did not reach out to herNow she got friend suggestion or she delibrately searched me im not sure, but somehow she got to know i created new acc and she blocked me there as well.

Before baby planning she asked me what my baby will call you? I said Aunt/friend/sister/guide whatever they want they can call me. So one day in Nov when we were still talking, i simply kept my hand near her belly and said “Hi baby im ur aunt/sister/friend etc. She then asked me Father? I was speechless for a minute and i didnt know what to answer to this.

Tbh im not looking for a relationship with her. I know she is married and now with baby. I want us to be friends always. I know now we cant be same like before – talking/hanging out a lot etc. But i also dont want us to block each other and behave like enemy. I want to be an aunt to her kid and want to help her in this journey

Im not sure if she started having feelings for me or husband got involved or she is just wanting space to deal with pregnancy