Forum Replies Created
January 23, 2014 at 3:52 pm #49638
Hi Rhino I can totally empathise with you as you seem to have bent over triple backwards to do everything for this person and sadly they do not seem to have given you the same and used their probilems as excuses You also have hard things to deal with in life but seem to have given given and given. I am the same with relationships and friends and constantly beat myself up about trying to handle each relationship right and read so many books.
You know in the end look in the mirror and you are a beautiful person and if they don’t love you it is about them not you. I finally met the most beaufiul person in the most strange place and when I had given up and no hope. All of a sudden all these rules and regulations do not seem to be there because our relationship is about respect and both giving equally. Don;t get me wrong we have a few rows as I am a fiery person and he is a stubbor ass but respect wins the day and also I count my blessings as I know he does that we found each other even though we both live separate sides of the world – nothing keeps us apart. Sounds dreamy doesn’t it – but don’t think the next relationship will be the same – if you are with the right person like a jigsaw it fits so much easier and is so less painful and tiring. Good luckDecember 15, 2013 at 1:24 am #46777
Hi Mary I totally understand as I was not only single but also my son left home so the house was like an empty large shell that I rattled around in and I spent every night crying. I have masses of friends, money, a great business and I am attractive but I just wanted a partner. Sorry but I think I did have a big D for desperate and free to good home on my head….and in my heart. I did the dating websites but if you go down this route be prepared to have some knocks as you will like guys who won’t connect with you and vice versa, some guys put pictures on ten years younger duh and when you put all your energy into getting ready to meet them and do it is disgusting – one guy I just got out of the car and told him I wouldn’t be staying. I personally do not like these sites not in the position you are in.
What did I do? I got involved in clubs such as a poetry club and a walking club and joined the gym – all making me use both my body and mind and removing the focus to working on both and gradually got uplifted. I stilll have lonely days but no more lonely tears as I have so many friends now and know if I feel low off to the gym I go for some positive energy. Holistic therapies such as reiki helped me too and look at crystals online for some to carry.
The best thing ever I did was go on a mountain climb challenge and met some awesome people and found someone with so much in common with me it was amazing and he is the love of my life and I cannot believe I am with him – definitely a character out of my ‘box’ and not someone I would have ticked or been matched up with on my internet dating profile- just really be strong and if I have a little extra I will send it to you and go and get out there – the world will not come to you.
Those books are great but action is what you need now Mary. I wish you all the best as sadness, loneliness and misery are tremendous burdens. Go for it gel xDecember 15, 2013 at 1:14 am #46776
Ok this is a really difficult one for me as currently having a beat me up session which I haven’t done for a while? So I thought I would do this challenge to make me look at the good things in me and make me feel better about myself…
Number 1 – I have so many friends who I care about and I give everything to friendships as I value them so much in life – they get you through and vice versa
Number 2 – I have brought up the most beautiful Son ever who is coming home soon from Uni and I cannot wait as I am so proud of him and hey I did some of that!
Number 3 – I have completed many challenges in life against diversity with an illness I have and therefore given back to people less fortunate
Number 4 – Now you see I am struggling ….because I am thinking about the materials things I have which really mean very little so ok – back to the brain – yes I suppose I am very funny and always love to make people laugh and bring them together – I am a good ‘builder’ as in organising group events and ensuring people are happy
Number 5 – Gosh I need the whole morning…Ok I have got through one of the hardest years of my life, empty nest syndrome, quite a nasty debt, business problems and a bad relationship and dealt with all of it and sorted it out – so hey I have pretty clever and smart too
Thanks for this test and this site and already feeling lots better about this lady enjoy the day xDecember 7, 2013 at 5:37 am #46358
Hi and Matt what you wrote is beautiful and obviously I need to read it again and embrace it but I totally understand where Marie is coming from as I too have a constant battle with inferiority. Although I am privilidged as maybe it is not so severe. I read the article on this site about comparing yourself which hit alot of notes and almost made me cry but gave me a positive way forward. But I do think it is very much in Western culture that we are made to feel inferior by the constant barrage of perfect women images and perfect families. Having recently spent time abroad in a Muslim country I have felt far more confident as having to cover your body more actually makes me feel more of a person valued for my knowledge, wisdom and personality rather than my slim legs or made up face and glam hair. A strange thing maybe to say Marie but we really do pull each other down in this country and also we are loathe to compliment as for example I see a beautiful lady just like you and instead of saying “Wow you look fantastic”-my thoughts instead go to jealousy and that insecurity voice says “She looks so much better than you”. I know too I am a smart intelligent beautiful business woman so I wish I too could flick that demon off my shoulder. But whilst in the Muslim country the women kept holding me and saying how beautiful I was and there was no jealousy and likewise I started to say the same.
I am on a journey to really try and deal with this insecurity as it holds you back in your business and has many times in my personal relationships with panics and anxieties that I am not good enough for that particular person therefore I have sent them packing prior to allowing them to finish the relationship – simply pushed them away. It is crazy. I blame past relationships but I have to deal with it now and I believe I can do this a step at a time and if we women start to support each other more and understand the pressures upon us we will be so much more confident and happier. I worry about young girls who are going through even more pressure. If you have a young girl switch off the TV more and throw away beauty magazines – they are not allowed in my house. Also for yourself do not buy magazines with diet, look better or how to have the perfect life – they are rubbish and meaningless. Far more important is your soul and spirit and your input into the world. Think about what attracts you to someone and they it makes you realise. I am interested to hear other opinions .