Dear Anita,

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your time and wisdom.  You have been so very helpful and kind.  I am grateful for your advice and I hope others see this and take from it what I have.

Thank you Marie

Thank you for your honesty.  I am grateful for your wisdom. The revelation that H was not interested in me ONLY happened after she started seeing F. She had been with a different partner up until the day I left town for the summer, so I never imposed my feelings on her. I did tell friends how I felt, but not her.  You are right no one had to ask me permission… I just would have liked a warning before I walked into this after a summer break.  H KNEW it would hurt me… expressed that to mutual friends, but said she didn’t want to tell me before I came back. I feel that is a betrayal.  She knew she could do something to soften the blow and didnt

Yes.   Friends had told her and he told me she always kind of suspected I had feelings for her.   I tell myself I’m not upset about the relationship she has with F.  In fact, I see that she doesn’t value my friendship like I thought she did, which must include respect.  I’m upset that no one told me and now even more upset that the friend circle we had is now hers and I’m out