Hey Anita, thank you so much for responding. I didn’t think anyone would respond. I have two beautiful kids. I am 36 And I am very involved with my children and love them dearly. I used to have a thriving career in finance, I went to school got an MBA and and worked hard to provide. I lost my job shortly after the recession hit and in the town I am in there no opportunities close to what I used to do. I took a job as consultant for local Christian University and the position was just terminated; its a struggle to find anything, so I been mowing yard, doing computer work, anything I can to take care of my kids.
I have family nearby, but they are not welcoming or understanding of this; they are very judgemental and emotially disconnected. I don’t have any friends, I know tons of plp but no one is a friend. Many plp in town know me but they really don’t know me, they just know and friendly, fun and good guy but no true friends, therefore, i dont have anyone to vent to.
The girl I reference just got me. She understood my pain and understood that I loved my kids and do anything for them. She knew me for who i was, so when this happened she killed whatever bit of trust I had. I feel betrayed but overall, I feel disposable, worthless, snd lacking importance. I truly loved n feel stupid if of it. But I guess, it not just that, it combination of events, n I just can’t get it right. I can’t see straigt anymore. My thought are non stop and I can almost feel it in my brain I cannot make it stop. I want to make my thought disappear n I cry, scream but is there.