Well first correction what he/she is doing is very illegal just no one  cares sometimes I wonder if this person had have connections.

I was actually questioned by a government  law enforcement agency  for hours. There might still be an investigation I don’t know.  They found me  I didn’t go to them.

I do have legal representation  that is good it just takes so long and so much stress and this person  and every time something happens it’s like it is just starting s over again.  The cost is high  so that is a burden as well. This person is a liar I have seen them lie with no remorse in court. This persons representation is also corrupt  and every acquisition despite no evidence must be heard and examined. So the harassment is never ending.

I have learned to live with the case. It’s the guilt of something I have done recently. Even though for a good purpose how do I get past the guilt.

@anita thank you for your suggestion.

He already told me why he ended it with me in his breakup text with me the reason was that his life had too much instability and he felt that I needed something with some stability and consistency. He told me I was really “cool” so he didn’t feel good writing this and that we are not currently aligned from the perspective of stability and shouldn’t continue until we are aligned. Which on his end meant things calming down but at the same time he wasn’t saying we would continue because he told me he hoped I find something fulfilling. I don’t need to ask him again because he told me and i accept his answer if it was the full truth or not.

I worry that I was used because he made a comment on our second date after quite a few drinks that I did not like concerning intimacy with women and he is definitely very sexual and not shy about it. I cut him off after the comment and didn’t expect to hear from him again but he continued to pursue me and apologized relentlessly so I chose to believe him. He told me that was for fun and he had actually liked me amongst other things. But that one comment still resides in my mind. That is why I wonder if he even liked me at all.

I guess I have a lot of bad things going on in my life so the anxiety could also perhaps be a collection of everything which makes it more intense.

I feel like talking it out makes me feel the best, but therapy has never really been that helpful for me.

@Anita

I don’t know if had any anxiety. If he did I didn’t sense it.

I find myself wondering if he even liked me at all. Maybe he just wanted intimacy.

—————–

It’s not better today. I still feel depressed and miss our conversations.

I find myself wondering if he will ever pop into my life again.

Even though he’s gone. The anxiety is still there.