Hey Tulip,

I’ve gone through this before. My husband’s best friend was a female and they spend a lot of time together and I was insanely jealous. Not because I thought he would ever cheat but because I felt that he’ll someday wake up from all of this and realized it was HER he truly wanted and not me.

Turns out this jealousy had to do more with my own insecurity, my own fears and my own limiting thoughts. In the end, there is nothing you can SAY OR DO to make your boyfriend feel anything. IF he did feel attracted to her, there is nothing you can do about it. IF he didn’t feel attracted to her, there is nothing you can do about it.

Rather than wasting so much negative emotional energy on something that is beyond your control, why not try to work on root cause of your jealousy and fear? The more you try to control his friendship with this woman, the more negative charge will occur in your relationship.

You can’t control his emotions but you do have control over what’s happening INSIDE OF YOU.

Start there and when you work on your self-esteem, limiting beliefs and self-love and acceptance, you’ll soon realize that jealousy and anxiety you felt was happening because of how you chose to focus on fear, rather than love for you and the strong love you have with him.

Trust him and trust yourself–that you are WORTHY of the love you want and have NOTHING to be afraid of.

If you need any more advice on anything like this, you can find me here <3

Warmest,
Mika

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Mika Maddela.