fbpx
Menu

Mika Maddela

Forum Replies Created

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #44002
    Mika Maddela
    Participant

    Hey,

    I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through, I know how much it hurts to not be with the person you love and plus the fact he reached out to you.

    After a years time, he was genuinely curious about you and when you gave him an unwelcoming response.

    See it from his perspective. He reached out to you and you responded with “what do you want.” Of course you haven’t heard from him since then.

    For whatever reason he reached out to you, ONLY HE KNOWS. My opinion and everyone else’s along with yours are just based on PURE ASSUMPTION–which is not going to help you either move on or get him back.

    Too be honest, it sounds like you may have been in REACTION MODE rather than RESPONSE MODE.

    Check out this short video if you don’t know the difference between the two.

    Keep in mind that if you want him back, you must INSPIRE his love. Do you think you’re in a place right now to INSPIRE his love or perhaps you still have some emotional pain you need to work on before you can get him back?

    Just my thoughts..

    xx.
    Mika

    #43902
    Mika Maddela
    Participant

    Hey Tulip,

    I’ve gone through this before. My husband’s best friend was a female and they spend a lot of time together and I was insanely jealous. Not because I thought he would ever cheat but because I felt that he’ll someday wake up from all of this and realized it was HER he truly wanted and not me.

    Turns out this jealousy had to do more with my own insecurity, my own fears and my own limiting thoughts. In the end, there is nothing you can SAY OR DO to make your boyfriend feel anything. IF he did feel attracted to her, there is nothing you can do about it. IF he didn’t feel attracted to her, there is nothing you can do about it.

    Rather than wasting so much negative emotional energy on something that is beyond your control, why not try to work on root cause of your jealousy and fear? The more you try to control his friendship with this woman, the more negative charge will occur in your relationship.

    You can’t control his emotions but you do have control over what’s happening INSIDE OF YOU.

    Start there and when you work on your self-esteem, limiting beliefs and self-love and acceptance, you’ll soon realize that jealousy and anxiety you felt was happening because of how you chose to focus on fear, rather than love for you and the strong love you have with him.

    Trust him and trust yourself–that you are WORTHY of the love you want and have NOTHING to be afraid of.

    If you need any more advice on anything like this, you can find me here <3

    Warmest,
    Mika

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 11 months ago by Mika Maddela.
    #30272
    Mika Maddela
    Participant

    Same thing works with me–living in the present moment has always kept anxiety at bay. Whenever I notice myself focusing on the “what ifs,” taking a deep breath and reminding myself to stay in the present has really helped me push through my own obstacles as well as create a space for me to deepen my connections with the people around me.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)