Thank you anita, TeaK, and Peter, for having a chat with me. There is certainly more I have to learn to manage, but it’s been very insightful to talk about things. It’s help me gain another layer of understanding about myself. I hope I will start becoming the person I want to be. Thanks again!

And to anita, I remember you very well. I actually posted in the Relationships forum about 3 years ago and you were also around to help tide me through a really difficult time. I didn’t post using the same account because I lost my login credentials for that user handle, but I just want you to know you were of so much help to me. Thank you!

Hello anita,

With regards to vaccination status, I am pro-vaccination. But there have recently been an influx of anti-vaxxers going around convincing the elderly folks not to get vaccinated.

With regards to my views on race, I am afraid of specifying too much as I would not want people to know where I am from. I live in a country with many different races. In recent years, people have begun to co-opt a term from the western world which I will call [race]-privilege. I am of the opinion that while there is racism here (and everywhere), it is not a systemic or structural issues. Laws have not been written to disadvantage certain races. However, people have recently taken it upon themselves to attack people of the supposedly privileged race, which is triggering and upsetting for me. I notice that these issues do not surface in my day-to-day interactions, but is disproportionately magnified online in specific forums.

To TeaK: It’s possible, since this behavior actually started pretty young. I’m 32 now, and the earliest instance I can remember of “trolling” people online seemed to begin when I was 15 years old. I wasn’t really bullied though, and I don’t remember any specific instances of losing arguments that were significant. But the childhood angle is probably worth thinking about.

To anita: I don’t think my anger gets relieved when I argue with people online. I think it’s magnified instead, so I get even more upset and angry if I continue doing this for a long time. Which is why it’s so puzzling. I only started realizing the harm this kind of behavior is doing to my emotional health, and I try to wean myself off of it and be nice on the internet. But before long, some triggering post on the internet brings me back to that state and I begin trying to mentally torture people online again.

To Peter: That is an interesting experiment. I think I may simply need to delete accounts where I can possibly reply to people anonymously and consciously choose not to engage with people in that manner. I think my experience is quite similar to yours. It’s a great question to ask: “Why do I need to change others?” I don’t.

Thank you everyone for responding to me.