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I am struggling with feeling guilt and being upset for trying to leave my job

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Tee.
Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
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  • #418476
    FurryRat
    Participant

    I just graduated and landed a job that was essentially given to me. My current boss described the job, saying that there will be times where I may have to work a lot, and other days when I may have nothing to do. It’s been 8 months and I have not been assigned work that is related to what I was hired for. Instead, I was asked to work on things that are completely unrelated to the job, just to fill my time. It is not part of the job, and not what was described to me during the interview.

    Because of that, I am now looking for another job. But when I informed my current boss, he seems upset that I am leaving before the contract is up. There is another 10 months before the contract is up, and since there is nothing related to the job that I have been doing, I felt like I have been misled into this job, and that there shouldn’t be anything wrong about wanting to leave. When I realised he was unhappy, I also felt that he was selfish. Even though I, too, am selfish (for prioritizing my own growth), I felt like I have to leave. I wake up with dread, even though there’s nothing I do for work. I don’t go to the office, and just essentially stay home everyday doing my own things.

    The thing is, I have heard from other people that I was given this job not due to merit, but because of nepotism. My boss likes me and skipped over several more qualified candidates to hire me. When he eventually told me about this, I was (internally) furious because now I am 100% sure that I did not earn this job.

    Is it so wrong to want to look for another job that I can feel more engaged at? And one where I can feel like I gotten because of what I can contribute?

    #418480
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Furry Rat

    You come across as quite ethical and not willing to jump over people to climb the corporate ladder.

    I guess first check your contract to make sure you can get out of it easily. Do you actually like working for this company if so speak to HR about other job opportunities.

    As we spend about a third of our day working, then the chance to find something that fulfills you is well worth exploring.

    I wish you the best of luck finding a job and workmates that support & inspire you

    #418493
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear FurryRat,

    you say you’ve been told the job has given to you because of nepotism. Does it mean your boss did it as a favor to your family? Did you know that he is a friend of your family?

    But when I informed my current boss, he seems upset that I am leaving before the contract is up

    there’s nothing I do for work. I don’t go to the office, and just essentially stay home everyday doing my own things.

    I don’t understand why he would be upset about you leaving, unless he believes it will be bad for his relationship with your family? Because if you’re not really required to do anything, or only some irrelevant stuff to kill time – I don’t see other reasons for him to be upset.

    I believe it’s totally okay for you to look for another job, something you’ll enjoy and where you’ll be able to use your skills and talents. However, if you got this job because of your family, there might be another side of the story – perhaps too much influence of your family in your life? Anything like that?

     

    #418803
    FurryRat
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Thank you Roberta.</p>
    Tee: Nepotism as in, I didn’t earn it. I thought I did, but he told me he offered me the job as a favor to me. There were also more qualified applicants which did not get the job because he meant to give me the job anyway.

    #418819
    Tee
    Participant

    Dear FurryRat,

    Tee: Nepotism as in, I didn’t earn it. I thought I did, but he told me he offered me the job as a favor to me.

    I see. That’s interesting. Have you felt a strange vibe from him – that he gave you the job because of your looks maybe? Because if not, it could be that he liked your personality (self-confidence, wit), and he thought this was more important for the company on the long run than the credentials some of the other candidates had. I don’t know, just a thought…

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