I have to consider many limitations that I have. I’m 40 and I have already done work on an empty stomach foolishly. Now with type 2 diabetes if I stay in group housing with no job I think it is better to stay in this house. I will have to buy everything from scratch I have no money. Nobody is giving me job. I’m poor in socializing. The pros are less. Given such a situation I’m forced to live in these conditions only.
Also, as a kid I read moral stories and was always honest, truthful and kind but it has all backfired. I have nobody to trust. My friends cheated me. They used to say they are not studying so I also wouldn’t study. Then they would still get good marks. That’s why I find it difficult to trust people.
When i was a kid I had no friends. I never realized the importance of relationships. Now I want to make friends. But how with my mother asking me where I went with whom I went. How do I make friends? Is friendship about how useful I’m to the other?
If i have to leave the house I have to have a job but my current doctor says I have some illness. I have to be independent. Right? But I have no access to money how can i learn? Like I have an Engineering degree. But just that won’t help I need to learn some additional coursework. My parents are refusing to give me money for computer course. What do I do?
I feel so angry at everyone for enjoying my helpless condition. Now I have no money no good education no body that too at this age. How do I go about doing this? When I tried leaving my house tan year back my parents put me in rehabilitation and have taken away my phone. It is all confusing.
I used to get up at 4 in the morning till college. In below 0 temperature I have lived. I used to work without lunch and leave in office. Why nobody said anything even though I kept asking for help. My mom used to not give breakfast when I was growing up not even tea. I used to eat sweets and junk food. I was a kind person never showing off helping people the way I could. I used to invite friends home they wouldn’t come. I have to tell you Anita that I feel there is so much to learn. But when I started training in math my mom mocked me I kept doing then when I went to shops people would quote more for vegetables and fruits.
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