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Brianne

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  • in reply to: Mr. Unavailable & Mixed Signals Advice Needed #282377
    Brianne
    Participant

    Hi Mary,

    I am going through pretty much everything you are describing with a guy I reconnected with after several years apart. In the past, a relationship was never in the cards for us because of our 8 year age difference. However, we reconnected this past Summer when he was in town visiting his family and I began to see him in a different light, possibly because he seemed as if he matured. We both agreed to just a physical relationship but it started to change because of the mixed signals he sent to me. I began to develop feelings for him based on those mixed messages. For the first time in a long time, I felt desired and wanted and I was high from that feeling. But things started changing, seemingly overnight. Despite the fact we talked every day he began to distance himself. I began to call him out on it so he reeled me right back in with empty promises. He would be “all in” again for a few days but then it went right back to him being distant and him reaching out when the time was good for him. This back and forth went on for a few months. 2 weeks ago I decided to start putting myself first. This “relationship” was him calling the shots with no consideration of how I felt and what I wanted. As I’d done before, I told him I needed to walk away from this to get over him and move on. When this has happened before, he usually gave me 2 weeks of time alone and then started reaching out like nothing happened and I stupidly took him back. I thought maybe his attempts to reach out were because he missed me (and maybe he did a little bit) but it was clearly for him to feel better about himself. I also have the tendency to check in on him on Instagram and Snapchat, so I’ve deactivated those apps and removed them from my phone, which I have to say has helped tremendously. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what went wrong and why I was never enough for him.. unfortunately these thoughts have now triggered crippling panic attacks. I don’t want to spend my time thinking about him and why things ended up they way they did. I have to keep telling myself that this is on him. I did nothing to deserve this treatment, my only error was accepting it for as long as I did. I have no control over his behavior and actions (as much as I try to figure them out) but I have control over how I react to them. This has not been easy and some days I feel like I’m really struggling but I am trying to focus more on myself and practice more self-love.

    I’m sorry you are going through a similar situation with this guy. All I can say, from personal experience, going “no contact” can be the best solution. In my case, I feel stronger each day I’m focusing on myself and not on the BS he consistently threw my way.

    Best of luck to you!

    in reply to: Struggling with "break up" #275187
    Brianne
    Participant

    Thank you, Anita. I’ve gone through some up and down emotions (as I expect to) as a result, but I know deep down this is the best course for me. Above all else, I need to practice self love (which I’ve never been very good at) and know this is the first step in that process. I’m sure I’ll be checking in again soon. Thank you for your the support <3

    in reply to: Struggling with "break up" #275099
    Brianne
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your feedback and input. I’ve read through everything carefully and made the decision to move on. I ended things with him yesterday and while he was not happy about it, I know I need to stick to my belief that I deserve so much better than this.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)