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shelly

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  • in reply to: He wants to take things slow #169403
    shelly
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    I am a single mom of three kids two currently living at home. I was married and a stay at home house wife for 17 years. Married 25 years. My husband was a white collar worker making six figures a year. I was married to a narcissistic and did not know it until we lost our 6 bedroom home, cars, 401 (k), etc…My husband lost his job after 15 years and became depressed. He found a job with another company and five days prior to our insurance kicking in, he detached his retina. Several surgeries later, he was unable to see out of his dominate eye. We ended up losing our home, money and ended up moving in with family in another state. I went back to work and my husband was home. He was very controlling and abusive verbally. When he became abusive to our kids, I asked him to leave. He was always putting me down and calling me names. It was long and very painful getting a divorce. I gained several pounds and lost my hair to stress. I was seeing a therapist and found out I suffered much abuse, both sexual and verbal. It took a while but I got back on my feet. Started working out and found a great job. I have been several dates and enjoyed myself but never attracted to my dates.   There was never any chemistry. I met a man three months ago and we hit it off. He is my age, professional, works out and loves life like me. We had a great weekend. He lives out-of-town so we have been communicating via social media, text and calls. We both have said how awesome it was we had so much in common and so into each other. On our second date, he confessed that he was tired of dating and ready to settle down. In my mind I thought that there was a real good chance we would date each other exclusively. When he went back home, there were several pictures of him on facebook with different women he called friends. This was okay with me as I have male friends and hang out with them from time to time. There was one girl in particular he was always with. When I asked him if she was a girlfriend, he said no. They were dating but nothing exclusive. I was told she was in love with him and would do anything to have a relationship with him. I know that they have slept together. On a couple of occasions I was supposed to come to his town for a visit. Both times there was a good reason I couldn’t. When I would look on facebook, the things he and I were to be doing, he was doing with her. I finally told him I didn’t want to see him anymore because it was too hard seeing him with someone else that I know he is sleeping with. He assured me that she was not girlfriend material and they were just friends. I stayed strong and told him I wasn’t interested. Deep down inside I had started to have feelings for him. After a few weeks, he texted me and told me he missed talking with me. I told him I had missed talking with him also. I was open and honest with him and told him I had feelings and didn’t want him to break my heart. It wasn’t much longer after that he posted another facebook status that he was with her. She posted a picture of them.I really fell for him and believed in him. We haven’t known each other that long but I have fallen for him. Since the picture was posted, I haven’t talked with him. He reached out to me to see if we were still friends. I don’t know how to respond. I really like him and would love to have a relationship with him. But, I have been through too much to have someone treat me like a second class citizen. Is there hope for this relationship or should I move on?

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