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Marnie

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  • June 23, 2020 at 11:47 am #359340
    Marnie
    Participant

    Hi Anita,

    My husband will be going across the country alone and I will be staying with our baby and pets.

    As for the sentence “He said that it will make him happy, but it is at my expense,” I should have worded that better. He said the opportunity will make him happy. This in turn makes me feel like his happiness comes at my expense. Not financially, but emotionally and physically. I am left with taking care of the family while he just does what he wants.

    Marnie

    October 10, 2018 at 8:56 pm #230253
    Marnie
    Participant

    Anita and Brandy,

    Thank you both for replying to my post. It makes me feel like my concerns are valid. I believe that unless this issue is addressed, I will take both of your advice and just never go to their house or have any interactions. Thank you both so much. I truly appreciate it and I am taking all given advice to heart.

    Marnie

    October 7, 2018 at 3:18 pm #229611
    Marnie
    Participant

    Hello patelh,

    I struggle with some of my in-laws as well, but I find that the best policy is just to treat everybody with respect. I don’t go out of my way to be friendly and I give short, concise answers to questions. I think just being a bit unemotional but still being respectful will get the point across that you are still not ok with them, but they won’t be given any reason to speak poorly about you later or go on the offensive. That is my advice, but I also don’t know your in-laws and I’m sure you will do what is most comfortable for you. I wish you the best on meeting your sister in law again.

    Marnie

    October 7, 2018 at 3:18 pm #229609
    Marnie
    Participant

    Tom,

    I was a person who avoid yelling and conflict too and I would leave when my husband would yell. We figured out how to deal with this by clearly setting boundaries and telling one another what we needed when there was an argument. I told my husband that yelling made me shut down and I need space when things begin to escalate. He agreed and we generally have much healthier disagreements and it doesn’t escalate as often.

    I think your idea of setting boundaries is a good one and it has worked for my relationships. That doesn’t mean there won’t be hiccups where you each fall into old routines, but boundaries make it happen less often. I wish you and your girlfriend all the best.

    Marnie

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