Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships, particularly your relationship with yourself.
Some people, typically, will fail to respect your boundaries; this is when it’s worth working out if you want those people in your life.
To set boundaries, you need to know what areas of your life you want to work on. Where do you feel you’re missing them? Is it work/friends/family? If so, what is it specifically you need to change? Once you have worked that out, then you can set your boundaries. Be specific in what you want, what you’re prepared to give in return. Negotiate your terms.
For example, I work as a coach, and I set my boundaries for contact as soon as I begin working with someone. Without boundaries, the lines become blurred, and I never have any free time 🙂
With your friends, it’s ok to ask for what you want. It’s all about respect and working with each other. We go out of our way for people; if they begin to expect it, it will be weird for them when you start to rein it in a bit, but just be open and honest. You are perfectly within your rights to say, “you know what? I don’t want to go out tonight.” Or whatever it is….
Don’t keep people in the dark about what you’re doing and why. Be open about it, ask for feedback.
It’s hard to be useful to others without being useful to ourselves and appreciating our own unique gifts. It sounds like you need to take some time out for you to work out what will be good for you; once you can do that, you’ll be more aware in other relationships and able to work out the right things for you there too.
Good luck 🙂
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