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July 24, 2026 at 5:33 am #459575
MollieParticipantThank you so much Anita š I also think the job has arrived at a good time in my life. It feels good to slow down.
I hope you are doing well too? šļø
July 23, 2026 at 11:39 am #459569MollieParticipantHi Anita,
Thank you for taking the time to write back. Itās always lovely to read from you, and thank you for the earlier message about my ex which I forgot to acknowledgeā¦Yes, it makes sense that newness and excitement are the cousins of anxiety and they can bring up old feelings of checking and doubting in an attempt to give up discomfort. In this sense I think time is a great healer, and allowing myself the ability to adjust. This job will give me a platform to breathe a bit, whilst still challenge me, but in a much more relaxed and supportive environment.
What a lovely way to view regression. As curiosity – āhmm, I wonder why my brain does this?ā š¤. I did it today, and actually had an answer! I was planning ahead and worrying because I was bored with what I was doing, but even stopping and noticing and then moving forward gently helps. Baby steps āŗļø
I love the evolution and journey you have been on. What a mountain you have climbed, formed from repeating that curiosity, probably frequently. Itās so encouraging to read you feel much lighter and no longer the same as you used to āØšæšļø
July 22, 2026 at 12:02 pm #459554MollieParticipantHi Anita,
I hope youāre okay.
Goodness I donāt know whatās going on with me at the moment. I passed the bar with distinction, and I have now started a new job.I donāt know why, but Iām having really bad anxiety. Like the āneed to knowā element – like I did in my relationship a few years ago (ROCD) and my sexuality (HOCD). Itās so strange – I have a thought and immediately question my decision. (About what to have for lunch, or bigger things like my job). This leads to decision-fatigue and not wanting to make decisions (even though I do).
I observe my thoughts, notice them, gently move on. But I donāt know why they are cropping up so frequently at the moment? Itās also so much worse when fatigued as the brain has to work harderā¦
It just feels frustrating that I feel this way after so many years of trying to progress from these thoughts ā¤ļøāš©¹
Do you ever feel the same? šļøāØ
July 2, 2026 at 11:23 am #459090MollieParticipantHi Anita
always good to hear from you.
I have empathy for him, for sure, and at times I feel myself tilting into his sorrow, going into āhow can I help himā. And when I have offered šæ my advice, he dismisses it. He knows best. So there is not much I can offer; I thought I could offer friendship but maybe it is hindering me moving forward and my true liberationā¦Oh! that is distressing, of course it is dog nature but still not pleasant, was the rabbit alive/okay? It is not your or his fault, it is the circle of life āŗļøšæš©·
July 1, 2026 at 8:35 am #459053MollieParticipantSo lovely to read from you.
Thank you Anita, I agree. I do think that the independence and liberation from a solo travel trip was unmatchedā¦ I will be carrying it forward with me alwaysšæ
Yesterday I have been in touch with my ex. He is broken and I just cannot help him. Thereās too many layers to explain but a traumatising death in his childhood left him feeling like he had to compensate in his adult life for him being alive and his family member not. As a result, he lives his life achieving 100% productivity, but feels trapped and miserable. I have prayed for him, but cannot help him. I really want to release him now so that I can move forward. Itās so hard but it is what it is.
Iām SO pleased Bogart is well and that you have had lovely excursions and trips to the parks and seeing neighbours. It seems that this brings you joy which is so lovely and important.
Take care š©·June 30, 2026 at 4:34 pm #459020MollieParticipantHey Anita,
How are you doing? It has been a month since we last spoke and i have been thinking of you frequently!I went on my first solo trip to Sicily. It was absolutely wonderful and liberating – doing what i wanted, whenever i wanted, without any guilt! I met so many people and put myself out of my comfort zone many times.
I have since been at home with my parents. At first, i found it irritable to not have the freedom of doing what i wanted whenever, as i felt pulled into people-pleasing. Whilst there will always be an aspect of that at home with them, i have learnt how to keep that sense of independence and ability to do what I would like, without feeling guilty!
My final little update for you is that i passed the bar course with a distinction. It was a relief, and made the hard work and sacrifice worth it. Whilst i donāt regret how i achieved it, maybe going forward i wonāt be as closed and āall / nothingā. I wish to maintain the sense of balance, vibrancy, movement and joy as much as I can.
How are you. Please tell me about how your month has been.
Warm wishes āØāŗļøš©·
May 23, 2026 at 3:12 am #458117MollieParticipantHi Anita,
Thank you for your kind words about my reaction to the interview. It was disappointing but I suppose it wasnāt meant to be! & your reflection on the eating, I needed to hear that āŗļøš©·
Glad to hear that Bogart is doing well. What an interesting story behind naming him – I never heard of the star before! What films has he been in?
I watched a tragic comedy (if there is such a genre) the other day. It was called the Banashees of Inisherin – about a story of two friends who have fallen out on an island off of Ireland. Great film and worth the watch but Trigger warning: disturbing scenes and self-harm.
I was scratched by a cat when I was about 10; and then bitten by a dog when I was 21!
Have a lovely weekend āØš I hope you have nice plans.
š„°
May 21, 2026 at 11:09 am #458075MollieParticipantHi Anita,
How are you? How is Bogart doing? PS – what does his name mean – Iād love to know that.
Yes I have always had dogs. All female labradors except for our current dog, Ralph, who is a cockapoo and a naughty boy! I really am a dog personā¦ not a cat personā¦ because when I was younger a cat scratched me. That said, I was bitten by a dog once, and that was scary!
Iāve been in a bit of recovery over the past few days. I had an interview and it went badly, I found out I didnāt get it yesterday. Thatās okay though! I did have an āemotional eatā – not a binge, but it felt sad to eat when sad.. I know we are human and this is a valid experience but it didnāt sit right with me to eat like that again. So I think I may have outgrown emotional eatingā¦ finallyā¦?
Hope you are okay too š„°
May 19, 2026 at 3:59 am #458004MollieParticipantHi Anita,
So glad that Bogart is okay. I hope that you have been sleeping better?And lovely to read you are in touch with one of your siblings – does that bring you a sense of connection/familial support?
The Middle Way! That is fascinating. It is what I endeavour to epitomise – balance. Funnily enough, in law, the subject I am studying, the symbol is a scales. I believe that all four of us have toppled with both extremes, and we are slowly finding the Middle Wayā¦
Be well, Anita.
šš§” āØ
May 17, 2026 at 8:52 am #457945MollieParticipantHi Anita,
Oh no! That is not pleasantā¦ I hope your dog is okay and I hope you are able to return to your bed soonā¦ is it the stress of not sleeping in your bed/worrying about your dogās health that is keeping you?Yes, my Mum is learning to let go and itās so lovely to see. More so because sheās spent a lifetime looking after others & putting out their fires for them especially extended family. With us, she did not have reliable or present parents so I believe she was determined to be the most present mother ever. I understand this.
To answer your question, I canāt describe a bodily emotion – but she just feels safe and calm. Unlike the two men in my life who are rather hectic, emotionally unpredictable and a bit flight or fight. My dad airs too much the side of caution in terms of – sometimes heās afraid to speak to my brother, owing to their previous rifts. He too did not have present parents – I donāt think anyone really taught him so he learnt as he went (as many, if not most parents do!)With my brother – yes. Heās protective over me and is older but I sometimes think of him as a younger brother to educate in small things like housework, cooking etc. other than that, he is extremely self-sufficient. I think he is in a certain era of his life where he craves freedom but does need support, even if unwilling to admit that.
Do you have siblings? š„°
May 16, 2026 at 7:36 am #457924MollieParticipantSo true. Thank you Anita.
How are you doing? š©·
May 15, 2026 at 11:27 am #457907MollieParticipantHi Anita,
Lovely to hear from you.
I do agree with you, I think my mother did get too close. I spoke to her today on the phone and she somewhat admitted that. She got stung herself by my brother for talking to his ex, and she now says to me – that she is letting them get on with it. This was important I think, for two reasons. (1) she is allowing them to sort out their own problems. (2) finally, she is putting her needs before othersā. Iām so glad for her. Of course, I know my mother, she will always put her familyās needs before her own. But hearing her today made me realise she is ready to pursue her own goals and dreams and step away from her childrenās needs, to be there as a support always, but not to come rushing in to āsave usā from making mistakes. Just that element of trust for us – to allow us to crack on.š„°ā¤ļø
May 15, 2026 at 5:54 am #457904MollieParticipantAnita!!
How unusual! I was just coming on here to send you a message and I didnāt realise you had sent me one āŗļøLovely as always to hear from you, Anita. Since we last spoke, I have finished my exams, have been living with my brother for a month and going to-from my parentsā.
Everyone asks me : how do you feel now that you have finished? And my first thought is: tired. Some people say itās burn out – I think itās a sustained pressure of my previous job and doing these exams (so 2 years of non-stop essentially).
I also feel like Iām āalmostā over the line, because I have an interview on Tuesday. Whilst itās not the exams, it still feels like once that is done, then I can fully relax. Not to delay relaxing (I am writing this message in the bath as we speak!), but it does feel that way to me.
I feel like I am unconsciously fitting my schedule around my brother – he did not come home last night. I donāt worry obsessively, itās more that feeling of waiting up for him or listening out whilst sleeping. I asked him once whether he was coming home and he told me I didnāt need to worry about him and that I āwasnāt his mum or a teenager and he could do what he likedā. He has softened but is still emotionally spiky and unpredictable.
Also, the guy who my parents didnāt like is back in town. I have put off seeing him until after my interview because I didnāt want any man getting in the way for this year, as they have done in the past. Iām glad I did because he is unreliable too. But friends have mixed views on whether I should see him. I want to.
I have missed your wisdom and it truly is divine timing that I logged into Tiny Buddha.
How are you doing? š©·
April 12, 2026 at 9:04 am #456863MollieParticipantps – have you ever tried the app Insight Timer? It is amazing, full of meditations (of all lengths and varieties). It has been my saving grace at times!
April 12, 2026 at 9:03 am #456862MollieParticipantHello Anita,
It is good to hear from you. Iām sorry to hear you had a low day yesterday. I understand that depression can be exhausting and debilitating -leaving no energy left for you. Are you feeling better today? šš½From your message I gather that Bogart is your dog or cat? Thatās nice you have him/her. I read somewhere that stroking animals can literally release endorphins and calm our nervous systems, so itās good you have your pet to support you āŗļø
Yes I think a conversation will naturally arise. Today, he made a comment which pricked my eyes (as in tears)- it is his delivery that catches me sometimes. But then he was fine moments afterwards. Heās better than he was before but hopefully he will just soften.
Thank you for the well wishes for the exams. They are this coming Thursday, and then next Tuesday and Thursday. Nearly done, after 5 or so years of study!
I wasnāt feeling 100% today so I am in the bath and having lots of tea and ginger/lemon water. Sometimes I feel guilt at not studying all the time – itās a weird feeling. But then I gently remind myself that these exams are huge and long 8-hour days on repeat are not the way to go. Better to do little and oftenā¦
Hugs, Mollie š„°
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