Wow, Anita. You are so awesome for taking the time to research and tell me all of that. Copilot and ChatGPT also rock!

It’s so funny you sent this, because a realisation came to me today, which was, part and parcel of the mental battle I’ve been enduring has been an intolerance for uncertainty. Having to know. So I think those forms, particularly MCT and ACT, will be helpful.

I will digest this, and come back to you with how I feel. I heard a song today that I want to share with you – it’s called – Is it That Deep? By Cat Burns. It was a sure fire way for me to feel better. I hope you have a lovely day, even if it was an early start. Maybe you could listen to the song – A sunny, autumn morning is just beautiful.🍃☺️

I feel hopeful that I am climbing out of the ‘hole’, slowly. A part of my anxiety is saying ‘well, this is a cycle and we’ve been here before so this form of hope won’t last’, but do you know what I’ll answer to that? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But I’ll continue to live my life, whatever happens😊🤍

Hello Anita,

Thank you for your message. Yes, the analogy of a mountain feels apt. I have a few problems – finding city life very overwhelming, not getting my periods (sorry to share), but will I feel better when these problems subside? I am not sure.

I have been at home all week with my parents and have been very emotional and tearful. They have such full hearts and worry about me, for they don’t understand why I am going through this mental storm. And to be honest, neither do I. I believe it’s an accumulation of mental fatigue – revisiting decisions with questions; residual stress from taking big exams; and life just being busy in the city. I know it sounds simplistic, but cooking/cleaning/socialising/working/constantly in motion is overload for anyone!

I’m just bumbling along, trying my best. I have a solo holiday booked in a few weeks which I hope will offer me peace and a balm.

How are you? How was the beagle play date?

Sending wishes of wellness 🍃🤍😊

Hello Anita, you are so right – good enough is enough! For a high achiever/perfectionist, optimal is the benchmark and it’s so tough to live consistently those standards.

About my parents – an example manifested itself today. I bumped into an old boss – told my mum what happened, and she told me how proud she was of how I handled the situation, and finished with ‘the only thing I would have done differently was…’

I didn’t ruminate on the comment but it was just an observation. How i hold myself to those standards perhaps because of small comments such as these.

Hope you had a lovely weekend.

Hi Anita,

I have been struggling over the past few months with decision OCD – trying to make perfect decisions . I think I am stressed having started a new job. Telling myself not to worry so much; not to try so hard. Living in a vicious cycle of fatigue > making a decision > agonising over a decision.
But taking each day as it comes, I relate to the tiredness. Hoping that it will get better, in time. No longer with the ex and that has resolved itself. Tell me though, how are you? Why do you think you are more tired lately? 🤍

Thank you so much Anita 💚 I also think the job has arrived at a good time in my life. It feels good to slow down.

I hope you are doing well too? 🕊️

Hi Anita,
I hope you’re okay.
Goodness I don’t know what’s going on with me at the moment. I passed the bar with distinction, and I have now started a new job.

I don’t know why, but I’m having really bad anxiety. Like the ‘need to know’ element – like I did in my relationship a few years ago (ROCD) and my sexuality (HOCD). It’s so strange – I have a thought and immediately question my decision. (About what to have for lunch, or bigger things like my job). This leads to decision-fatigue and not wanting to make decisions (even though I do).

I observe my thoughts, notice them, gently move on. But I don’t know why they are cropping up so frequently at the moment? It’s also so much worse when fatigued as the brain has to work harder…

It just feels frustrating that I feel this way after so many years of trying to progress from these thoughts ❤️‍🩹

Do you ever feel the same? 🕊️✨

So lovely to read from you.
Thank you Anita, I agree. I do think that the independence and liberation from a solo travel trip was unmatched… I will be carrying it forward with me always🌿
Yesterday I have been in touch with my ex. He is broken and I just cannot help him. There’s too many layers to explain but a traumatising death in his childhood left him feeling like he had to compensate in his adult life for him being alive and his family member not. As a result, he lives his life achieving 100% productivity, but feels trapped and miserable. I have prayed for him, but cannot help him. I really want to release him now so that I can move forward. It’s so hard but it is what it is.
I’m SO pleased Bogart is well and that you have had lovely excursions and trips to the parks and seeing neighbours. It seems that this brings you joy which is so lovely and important.
Take care 🩷

Hi Anita,

Thank you for your kind words about my reaction to the interview. It was disappointing but I suppose it wasn’t meant to be! & your reflection on the eating, I needed to hear that ☺️🩷

Glad to hear that Bogart is doing well. What an interesting story behind naming him – I never heard of the star before! What films has he been in?

I watched a tragic comedy (if there is such a genre) the other day. It was called the Banashees of Inisherin – about a story of two friends who have fallen out on an island off of Ireland. Great film and worth the watch but Trigger warning: disturbing scenes and self-harm.

I was scratched by a cat when I was about 10; and then bitten by a dog when I was 21!

Have a lovely weekend ✨💘 I hope you have nice plans.

🥰