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Monica

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    Monica
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    Hi Helen, I too have had a terrible year this year. My personal belief is it is because the planets are aligned in a way that rubs us the wrong way. It would take me a year to describe all the things that have happened to me this year but in a very small nutshell. I was a stay at home mom with everything I needed in life, my spouse left me at our home with all 5 of my kids, no car, no money for another woman. I had to ask my kids 2 fathers (the spouse that left me is the father of the younger 2) to keep them till i could get on my feet. well i never got on my feet, I lost our home and had to live in a van, I had to move 2 hrs away just for somewhere to stay that was warm bc I don’t have any other family than my 5 boys. I don’t get to see my older 3 boys that often, and the ex that left me sued me for full custody and was awarded it so im missing my 2 little ones growing up, but his new wife (she was staying with us bc she was practically homeless with her kids, and he ran off with her and married her 3 months later)is getting to mother my babies. You would think by now I would have gone completely crazy but I keep myself together with hope and patience. When I wake up the first thing I tell myself is “things could be much worse, and to remember not to forget when I get upset that I’m in complete control of my response to hurt and pain.” I choose to accept that it hurt, yes it stinks and its not what I want, but my will to make it through this tough time is stronger than my will to let myself kick and scream and fight for whatever it is that I want or that I think is right. (I have found out more this year that if I get upset about things that dont turn out the way i want them to,then thats when I get hurt so bad emotionally.) So as hard as it is I let go of what my expectations, and my desires, and my assumptions (I do so by whenever I feel an upset mood coming on because i have been let down, I close my eyes and imagine my emotion as a small red ball, and i imagine my body and mind together are this strong massive mighty wave and I simply imagine my mind and body forming this wave to just escort the red ball over the wave and then at the end of my toes I imagine it just coast off into space) I guess like a mental alarm system from letting the hurt penetrate me. I have never delt with emotions well. I am usually the first person to ball up on the floor and drownd in tears but with the encouragment of the tinybuddha words and a little mind preperation I have tools to help me get through a lot. My encouragment to you would be to dress up really nice (so you feel amazing) and either go out on the town one night and have a blast (taking so many pictures) then post them on a social media site your gentalman friend goes onto, and see if he says anything about it. If he does then that means he really is interested in you, or go somewhere u know he’s going to be and do the same but don’t include him. Just have the time of your life and let him see how fun you are. 1 of 2 things will happen, he will fall for the “hard to get game” which guys love btw, or you might just meet someone else that does it for youmore (the total package) then you will look back and ask yourself “self what was I thinking?”. I know i rambled on but I hope this helped you some! good luck doll!

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