I can’t afford a therapist anita. I can only do meditation and do some research on my own. I don’t know why I’m always haunted with my fears from the past. I’m anxious everytime I enter a relationship and still anxious after being in a relationship. I always feel these adrenaline rush in my stomach everytime I see something or think about something. Like if I browse on my newsfeed on facebook and see my ex commented on something I feel an adrenaline rush or if I see his fb acc.I don’t know if I was excited or scared. I always feel that way in all my exes. I don’t stay much on Facebook anymore because everytime I see them or see someone that looked like them or someone who looked like their current gfs. I feel anxious.Im tired of feeling this way. I wanna feel good and happy.

I agree with u anita and hi nicole,I really can’t afford a therapist but I’ve been going to a public mental health center.I’ve been on meds to help my depression and anxiety for more than a year now and currently I’m just taking minimal meds.Half tablet of 25mg of nozinan to help me sleep at night.My family and surrounding is okay.I’m getting better because I’m helping myself.Its just that being in a relationship triggers all the anxiety and fears I have.Right now I just wannna love being alone with myself,accepting it and embracing it.I really didn’t understand what they meant by I lost myself but now I get it.I kept running away from myself because I was too scared to be alone.I abandoned myself and kept clinging to relationships.That is why I have low self-esteem and low self-confidence because I didn’t love myself enough.I didn’t trust myself enough to be always there for me.That is why I’m always insecure and scared.I’m thankful tinybuddha exists and you guys.Thank you for listening and sharing your thoughts.I’m grateful. ^__^

Hello Annie, I’m not offended with what u wrote don’t worry.I agree with it.

Hello Adam, okay I’ll try it out but also I’ve been reading articles here in tinybuddha about people pleasing.

Hello Anita, I guess I’ve always dreaded being alone without knowing it.I’ve always wondered what this fear is inside me.I didn’t know what it was that I’m afraid of. I still fear even when I’m in a relationship.How do I face and overcome that fear Anita? I’ve been doing meditation everyday and it’s helping me.I’ll connect with others just like you said and your right I should probably avoid connecting with men cause I have the tendency to fall inlove easily..falling inlove with the thought of being in a relationship.

I grew up without a male figure.I’ve always been distant with my dad and he’s always far away and eventually he abandoned us.It’s always been me,my mom and my older sister.So I guess that’s why I feel safe with having a boyfriend because I have a strong man I can depend on which I didn’t get from my dad.I’m currently single and staying that way for awhile maybe two years so I can work on myself.I appreciate all your replies guys.I’m learning alot.

Thanks karlo it made me realize that the root of my problem is jealousy. I have always been jealous and possessive not only with my romantic relationships but with other people. I know it won’t be easy but I’ll get rid of it.

I have abandonment issues. Since I was a kid and growing up. I can’t imagine the fear of being left behind over and over again. I think it’s my biggest fear in life. I was always the one being dumped, left behind without reason by the two guys I had relationships with. But I’m thankful and learned alot from it. Like the person from this forum said I am worthy enough. I don’t need a man to complete me. To believe and love myself first. And be there for myself when everyone is gone. I found strength. I didn’t think I can be this strong. After this, I’m just going to devote time for myself and take a break from any romantic relationships. I want to be in a happy and loving relationship with myself. And in God’s time when the right man comes along everything will fall into place. Thank u for the kind words, Bina. God bless ❤️

There’s nothing more painful than being abandoned by someone u love without saying anything. He didn’t care about what I would feel. I feel like crap. But I have to be strong for myself and family. I feel shattered.

I want to give us a chance to work this out by telling him what I feel. We already talked about getting married. He’s going to work abroad as a seaman next month or sooner so we won’t see each other for 9 months. I’m just worried if I don’t speak up this will continue and I won’t be able to handle the sadness and break-up with him because of his lack of communication and time with me. I really want this to work out.