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Paul

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  • in reply to: Realistic age gap? #62618
    Paul
    Participant

    The age gap is irrelevant really. I am 45, and my girlfriend is 29. Our emotional, physical and spiritual connection is sublime. I’ve dated women closer to my age, and have never felt the emotions or deep connection I feel with my current girlfriend.

    I keep myself in shape, so I am a young 45 year old. Never been happier…

    in reply to: How Do You Handle Emotions in Real-Time? #62029
    Paul
    Participant

    Hi peace57,

    Two words that jumped out at me were ‘stress’ and ‘resentment’. There are some situations in life that really are ‘stressful’, (like the death of a loved one), but the vast majority are not. It’s not the situation or event that is stressful, but our reaction to it, and interaction with that creates the stress.

    How we choose to react in a situation is ours, and ours alone. If someone else cuts you up in traffic for example, how do you react? We’ve all been late, tired and just plain not concentrating, and we’ve all done it. Let it go, as shouting at the car disappearing into the distance is hurting only you.

    Resentment comes from past experiences with a Particular individual or situation. Accepting and letting go of the past, and being ‘present’ in the moment (isn’t that all we have?) will make dealing with people you don’t naturally feel at ease with more comfortable.

    One thing I have found to be very powerful is deep reflection. I used to reflect superficially about things, but deeper reflection has allowed me to understand my reactions and emotions more fully. I now keep a journal and write in it at the end of each day. By writing something down it forces you to stop and really think about and process the days events.

    People will always have their own view of something shaped through their own life experiences, and we can never fully understand the path they have travelled, but out of those differences comes progress, understanding and learning if we open ourselves up to it.

    Some really great (different!) perspectives on this. Another opportunity to learn 🙂

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