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Nikki

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  • #394234
    Nikki
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    2 year update. I broke things off with my ex, the one who I was going to marry. I had a bad drinking problem and he played a big part in that and now I’m happy and almost 2 years sober!

    The other one, that I wrote this about, the one I had to cut off many times wouldn’t let me go. He would reach out all the time periodically like couple times a month or so, after my relationship ended him and I would briefly meet for hook ups like usual. He’d tell me things how he likes me or wanted to be with me but I look at actions more then words and I felt his actions said otherwise..

    recently he confessed his love for me and said he wanted to marry me and for us to have kids. Talking about how he’s adored me for 8 years and wants us to be together and he’s scared to get hurt again and hopes that I really love him too and want to commit and be together because he has doubts?

    hes a big drinker and that’s something I draw a boundary with but he thinks that I can help him cut back..  Long story short, he was drinking that night and I’m unsure of if those were his real feelings or if he was just in a fantasy world because his actions now are mostly silence. We haven’t talked really in 4 days. When I’d be drunk I would be able to express what I felt deep down, so I’m not sure if he made this up or if he genuinely feels this way. I just feel sick to my stomach and sad because he could’ve just said all of that to get what he wanted.

     

    Im trying to keep the “it is what it is” mindset but my mind keeps coming back to everything he said and looking at how he’s been acting towards me.

     

    #347796
    Nikki
    Participant

    Hi Anita I’ve had this talk with a couple of girlfriends and they seem to think that I’m the one rejecting him and that he is feeling this way.. I feel you’re pretty acknowledged and could maybe spot the difference, so please feel free to tell me. This guy who I used to talk to about a previous relationship I was in was always good ears and gave me great advice.. he would try and hangout with me a lot and I would  dismiss it completely because I felt it wasn’t right. I moved up recently close to where he was and have been on and off with a current relationship I’m in now. He made me happy in other ways.. (TMI to say) so I wouldn’t want to get too serious right away because I didn’t feel an emotional attachment. He told me he wanted whatever I wanted and I told him I wasn’t sure if I was ready for anything serious.. he would seem like he was okay with it but at tHe same time he seemed like he would be really mean to me when I’d talk to him or when we talked about that topic.. I’d block him quite a bit off everything when he would make me upset and finally he did the same to me.. He still has me blocked on everything but iMessage where he will still call me and text me and I’m not sure why. I told him this before and he told me he didn’t want me getting upset if I see something I don’t like? I don’t get it because I don’t get jealous and he knows that.. he knows I have someone else too.. He just called me yesterday to see if I wanted to be with him for the weekend too so I’m unsure of his feelings for me I guess.. I thought he doesn’t care but I’m not sure, please help!  I’m trying to not play any games either or string him along so I’m not sure if I am either. I do really like him but need to just love myself first..

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