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Complicated “Relationships”

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  • #338552
    Nikki
    Participant

    So this is very weird for me to talk about, but i was talking to this guy for years.. He messaged me about 5 years ago randomly on FB due to a depressing status. It was a long, beautiful message that made me feel better, I felt alone and wanted to die and for a stranger to message me to say all that made me feel better, I was in a toxic relationship, one I’m currently in still.. Me and this guy would just talk about life and things he was a nice guy but due to me being in a relationship i wouldn’t hangout with him. We eventually stopped talking i was horrible at messaging back, then I moved closer to where he lives without even realizing it. We reconnected after I seen him at my job back in September, he wanted to go on a date but I had to decline. I invited him to hangout with me and my friends at an AA meeting, he did. Then my friend blurted out that I was engaged, he was shocked I wanted to tell him myself because I could see why he’d be shocked. I was wanting to leave the relationship I’ve been in but have a kid with this man so he understood that and knew there wasn’t love in it.. He made it hard by constantly messaging me and visiting me at work, he spent more time with me then my fiancé did. I started to like him and he told me he really liked me. He started to treat me differently a while after though, like I was a slut until I left my relationship. He expressed he wants to date me and be with me and for me to stay the night or to come over, he would call me more and text and wanted to go on dates. He pretty much told me he wants more eventually but understands where I’m at. I told him we can only sleep together because I need to focus on school and my life and eventually yea. Well I was immature and would block him when I was scared or felt feelings and would ignore him for weeks. I eventually stopped kind of and went to him because he called and messaged me “he needs me” he’s expressed that “he’s hurting” and I could never bring myself to ask why. Anyways, I blocked him again after bc I got back with my fiancé, which I told him after we slept together and it seemed like he was upset, but then I unblocked him to call him a week ago because I got drunk and missed him. He answered and wanted me to come over, he was drunk too. He was mean to me when I got there though, talking about other girls and he’s never done that, and then told me he didn’t mean any of it, and wanted to see if I’d get jealous. I was angry and told him he was just a friend with benefits and that I’m not jealous one bit. Then he was accusing me of talking to a bunch of guys and said he seen my snaps of them and didn’t even want to touch me really. I left and was sad he tried kissing me goodbye but I didn’t reciprocate. I sent him a messed up meme the next day, just a day before his bday, left me on seen. Then I messaged him happy birthday, left me on seen. Just a day or two after that he blocked me on everything but FB.. I just don’t know what to do he’s never done this, and idk if I hurt him or not and should apologize or just let things be.. Maybe he never even cared about me idk. I just feel really bad

    #338572
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Nikki:

    This “Complicated ‘Relationships'” situation is a mess. What do you do when you have a mess? Clean the mess. What you have with the man this thread is about is not good for him. It is making him a worse person. Better help him out by apologizing to him for your part in the situation and leave him alone to hopefully recover and be a better person (to other people).

    The man who you are engaged to, the father of your child, better you decide if marrying him is a good idea, if it will help- or harm- you and your child. Do you think that marrying him is a good idea?

    anita

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