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RobParticipant
I wished to thank you for your well wishes after the first quote Helcat, apologies for missing that out.
RobParticipantIt can be challenging managing attachment. I hope that you will be patient. There is a lot that is out of our hands. All we can do is our best and that is enough. Good luck on your journey! – Helcat
On a side note, related to the cartoon. I don’t believe that chemicals entirely control our actions. To a certain extent, yes. But it’s a rather complex process involving many factors; internal, external, psychological and spiritual. – Helcat
I don’t believe it works that way either it was simply illustrative. I have no idea how it works, it’s a mystery.
It has been lovely communicating with you. I hope to read more. – Helcat
You too.
made of many material water molecules, salt molecules, etc. – anita
Some people think life is actually a shared consciousness rather than what it appears to be. I don’t know how it works, it’s a mystery.
It makes me feel content in my powerlessness – anita
My belief does this for me too.
the wave rises and falls no matter the choices, if any are made, regardless of the successes and failures, so these italicized here are not that important, no big deal, or no deal at all in the bigger picture of reality. – anita
I choose not to take a view on the importance of these. Objectively it’s meaningless since it requires an opinion. To the designer of life (I believe in a designer, which may be life itself, you are welcome not to, but I do) I have no idea how important we are. I think of myself a bit like an ant crawling around in an ant colony, would that that ant have any idea there were astronauts on the International Space Station or even that such existed? Not unless a higher order being gave it a way to perceive that, and even then it would understand it as an ant understands things. Could an advanced genetic engineer one day grant ants a greater awareness of what the International Space Station is all about? Perhaps, but would they?
RobParticipantThat’s a great question to ask yourself, thanks for sharing.
RobParticipantwe can share with each other our individual stories of Reacting vs Creating. – anita
Well, if I meditate and pay attention to where thoughts and such and even attention itself come from, they all just appear, as does the sense I am directing it. Just because it feels like I am creating, doesn’t mean I am. You of course, may be very different.
This is somewhat illustrative of my perspective, even if there is a “self” (I don’t know that), it is getting totally played by life.
I realised that thoughts are just stories we tell ourselves repeatedly and it was time for me to put some of those stories away. – Helcat
For me they’re stories that just appear. I too put some away. Seems life wants me to keep some, that’s okay.
As for being able to change, I think life dictates that too (for me). After this change of mind for almost a week I sunk into a depression as it shook me to the core but now I’m taking action and perceiving effort towards creating a life I believe would be better for me. I try not to be too attached to the idea of actually getting there and making the most of what comes. Life is something I’ve been gifted, that’s why it’s caused the present and at times there is a price for that gift.
RobParticipantPleasure to hear your understanding anita. I don’t get to be a Creator, I went the other way to you, I thought I got to make choices and design my life but that’s not my story. Much respect for those who can create though. Life is quite spectacular.
RobParticipantMultiple ways to let go of regret I know of that have been useful at different stages of my life. I have no idea how they would play out for you:
- Ask yourself was there anyway to predict the future that happened at the time? If not (do you have a crystal ball?), then why regret?
- Label that nagging voice inside of you with a personality. Call him “Perfect Pete” or something, he always thinks you should get everything right, be super brave, well, is that realistic? Giving it a silly name helps.
- Accept you don’t write life, life writes you.
January 20, 2023 at 10:55 am in reply to: 26 year old single male & would like advice to improve myself #414163RobParticipantDaniel,
There’s nothing wrong with being nice, the “nice guy” people don’t find attractive is the kind who tries to buy a girls affections with his “nice” and thinks he’s owed it when he does so.
Best bit of advice I can give you is don’t take the process so seriously. Have some fun and flirt with as many women as possible. You can take your pick from the ones who respond. If you don’t feel like they’re for you, keep flirting! Your skill will grow. You’re taking it all too seriously.
There are a few similarities between me and yourself though lots of differences too. Anyhow, I am married and I would have been married much sooner if I had done what I suggested above much sooner.
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