Forum Replies Created
October 27, 2016 at 6:30 am #119016NickParticipant
I’ve had this problem for years. I’ve worked in special education, so I’ve worked with some challenging kids. Add to that economic struggles, career dissappointment, and raising five kids. My mental noise began, like three years ago. Songs would repeat over and over in my head. But I also have this thing where I argue with people in my head, almost like I’m trying to justify my thoughts/actions/etc. to people in my head. Add to that the noisy thoughts, and the music. I’ll have a thought, like I feel helpless, and a song with that word will pop up. Also, memories would activate songs. I felt crazy anytime I’d feel someone about this. Took me a long time to even tell my wife. I spent most of my days distracted by the mental noise. Have a hard time putting together sentences, have a hard remembering things or thinking clearly. I feel like a mess most of the time.
Took me a while before I actually sought out help. Tried mindfulness, and tried to “fix” myself. I’ve been seeing a therapist and a pscychologist since last year, and I’ve been on many different meds to help with my “condition”. Thought I’ve had periods of time when I’ve felt myself, I alsways fall into longer periods of mental noise. Making matters worse, my therapist began telling me “I don’t know how to help you”, and have suggested putting me on med management. Thing is, I still feel so lost most of the time. It’s affected my job as a husband and father, and my work as well. I’ve gone back and forth with using mindfulness apps.
Sure, I’m still struggling, but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with this mental noise. Just wish I could figure out a way out of this. Quite often, I feel at the mercy of my thoughts/feelings/sensations.