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November 15, 2013 at 11:06 pm #45380omarkavilesParticipant
Hi Omion and Ladybug,
Thank you for the topic and both your perspectives on instant attractions. I find myself in Omion’s realm of trusting and putting my heart on my sleeve. However, I have started to do the opposite in behaving and thinking as Ladybug describes in terms of trusting myself to believe that person even likes me.
It is really is hard to think so much about how that other person thinks, feels, and sees in me. I guess I’m not a mind reader; If I was a mind reader that would help me with my dilemma of finding out the truth.
And why find out their truth? in my opinion, and just opinion, nothing base on fact or experience: Because I want them to feel the same way I feel for them. I want a safe, even exchange of feelings and that I find is not the case. I have to realize I have my own feelings and they own theirs. Their truths are not mine to own, but to see, respect, and accept what they express and show.
In my truths, I have a attraction to alot of people, but that fizzles out pretty quickly. I guess, that is what I do.
I have experience or what I think in my opinion is love and that is where I’m most blinded by. When I think about that person too much, or talk about them too much, or want to see them every waking moment, or obsess over them, I start hearing myself saying the “love” word. This usually sets me up for fantasy, making up my own narratives, and creating a relationship that I’m the producer, directors and star at the same time. That is a pretty lonely, awful, selfish world. I have done this many times. So I equate instant attractions to love; When I step back, and recover from crying, anger, shame, and vowing to never do that again, is when I realized I rush everything and did not let time and patience, and trust that someone who does like me, will get to even love me and say it, express it, and be it with me.
However, my emotions and my ideas of love can’t be describe in words;– No, it’s when I’m thinking of how wonderful it would be to be in a loving home with that one person I want to spend the rest of my life with. That is how I would like to describe love in this time of my life.
I’m sorry if I only share opinions and went of topic, but I just felt compel to write what I’m going through now in my experiences with instant attractions.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by omarkaviles. Reason: grammar1