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Sorry that you’re struggling with never feeling good enough, Dreaming715. I can relate, having experienced it for a part of my life.
We do live in this society that thrives on perfection. From a young age, we learn what we should be and do x to be accepted and live a good life. When people don’t measure up to said standards, they wonder “What’s wrong with me”. This conclusion is fair since the amount of people who tell you that you’re good compared to the others who are apathetic and dispassionate is insane. Even the ones who seem “perfect” and happy deal with some sort of rejection.
I’ll be honest, even after accepting all of my flaws, I view myself as a deviant of sorts in this society since I learned not care about what others think of me and I am usually considered the friend who does the craziest stuff. I guess you can say I went from self loathing to being shameless. But anyways, accept who you are right now. Focus on your postitive qualities. Know that you make a difference in today’s society by being a friend, being a family member, and being the person who kicks butt at work. When you hear that voice in your head who says “You’re not good enough”, remember your good qualities and push those bad thoughts away. Who cares about society’s standards? Do your own thing and validate yourself. It is hard at first to develop this new attitude but in the long run, it is definitely worth it. As Willam Ernest Henley wrote in Invictus, ” I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul”.
I’ll be honest, I used to be in your shoes two years ago as a college freshman reminiscing about high school and thinking it was some of the best years of my life due to gaining self confidence, getting friends that I consider family, and getting over my bad past. However, what made me enjoy college a lot more was making new friends at college and getting myself involved in different clubs. You’d be surprised how many people are willing to be your friend if you are a good and positive person. I’m not going to lie, it was a tough first semester as a freshman but befriending a few people in my dorm hall made things easier. Also, getting involved in various clubs led me to one of my closest friends in college who is currently my roommate right now as a junior in college!
All of the stuff that Jozizo said is quite true. If you’re anxious, try talking to your parents back home regarding this weird feeling you’re having and if your missing your friends from high school, call them up on the phone or shoot them a text. I’ll be honest, this adjustment into college will be an experience that will give you growth as you’ll be away from home and be by yourself and you’ll gain responsibility & work ethic. Also, with taking chances? You’re taking chances and making choices from the moment you’re waking up in the morning to the time you crash in bed! Okay, this seems like one heck of a rant to you but please let know how things are going!
Take care now!
Personally, as a third year college student I managed to go to the gym 3-4 times a week. Also, since I don’t have a car, I am forced to rely on a public bus center which is a 1.3 mile walk in order to go anywhere for errands or just to get out of the area.